Chasing After The Wind

So, once again I am falling behind in my blog updates.
 
There is so much to say yet I never have any idea how or where to start. On the plus side, I have been writing in my journal more. I think I have a grand total of five entries semi-completed since I've arrived in South Africa!! 

As for updates. Life is moving along here in Khayelitsha. Some interesting events that have happened in the past few weeks....
I've had a few unnerving experiences living in this township. There's no escaping the fact that we are outsiders and everyone knows it. I'm not supposed to be going around alone, but sometimes I don't have any other choice. I was leaving the 'mall' which is situated in one of the sketchiest places in Khayelitsha, known as Site B...also an informal settlement, and was stopped by some police. Now, I don't know who I'm more afraid of...thugs..or police. I'm told the cops (especially 'blacks' and 'coloureds') are more corrupt than anyone else. Anyways, they stopped me and started questioning what I was doing outside on my own. I answered briefly and tried to keep going but they just followed me in the car, still questioning me, until one of the cops got out. Not going to lie. I was pretty terrified. He tells me to get in the car...then laughs and says 'Don't worry, we're not going to arrest you'. I didn't really have a choice at this point so I got in and just prayed as they drove off... Thankfully there is little more to report...after hitting on me, they dropped me off right outside my door.

Apparently Herbi and I almost got mugged walking down a main street...once again by Site B. This woman comes up behind us and asks us what we were thinking and didn't we see those guys. Turns out a group of guys were about to rob us, but walked past and got the people a little ways behind us. I had no idea.... She told me God was watching over us. I have to agree with her on that one.

Besides that, I cannot walk anywhere in Khayelitsha without being cat called or followed..that and cars constantly stop and tell us to get in. I think the most important thing for me is acting confident even when I'm not. That and brisk walking seems to help too...

Anyways! Christmas has come and gone. I'm thankful it's over, honestly speaking. It was the one day I was looking forward to least of all. My actual Christmas was uneventful. I did get to talk to my family which was nice...and I did get some calls from friends too. But I just pretended it was any other day....
Christmas Eve on the other hand was wonderful! I spent the day with my favorite person on the African continent...Herbi. I won't go into details, but the day involved a delicious lunch, Harry Potter, a sail boat, and cheese cake. I couldn't have had a better day...and it definitely took our minds off of things for at least a few hours...

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of feeling too. One thing I've been lacking in, to the point where I don't feel complete, is my spirituality. It was the same during the Alberta phase...but I've felt that absence much stronger since I've been here. It probably has to do with the fact that I haven't been attending a church...but more importantly I haven't been sharing my spiritual life with anybody since I've been here... It's funny (yet not at all) how I always come back to this point. My life is completely meaningless without my faith, as irrational as that faith might be. And no matter how many arguments I hear, far more sound than my own, that are against my beliefs....nothing else makes sense to me. That and I cannot shake this feeling of being incomplete the more I am lacking in my spiritual life...things just aren't right then...

Anyways. I didn't mean to make this a rant, but my brother recommended I read Ecclesiastes...so that is what I'm doing (very slowly).  Thought I would put down some thoughts I had along the way.
'No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are never content'
-Ecclesiastes 1:8b
'I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race.  I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.'
-Ecclesiastes 1:13-14 

I know I'm not the only one in human existence, that has felt these words align so perfectly with my own thoughts...yet I can't help but feel like I am alone in this at the same time. Right now I'm at that point of analyzing my life and what lies ahead of me...and all I can see is how meaningless everything is. What little I've accomplished...all that I want to achieve...what good is it for? 
I like to ask questions. I want to know why things are the way they are. Sometimes I think it a curse that I am this way...I can definitely relate to the author when he says no matter what he sees or hears, he's never satisfied. 

Another thing I've been frustrated with lately is prayer. Well, not lately...almost my entire life. I'm starting to think that I don't know how to pray at all. My prayers are in the form of thoughts. But, my mind constantly wanders, and before I know it, I'll end up day dreaming instead. I've been asking myself more and more what the reason for prayer is anyways...why do I bother?
I came across this quote in a church in Town...I guess it makes a better attempt at answering the question than I could...

'The world is aflame with evil and atrocity; the scandal of perpetual desecration of the world cries to high heaven. And we, coming face-to-face with it, are either involved as callous participants or, at best, remain indifferent onlookers....
We pray because the disproportion of human misery and human compassion is so enormous. We pray because our grasp of the depth of suffering is comparable to the scope of perception of a butterfly flying over the Grand Canyon. We pray because of the experience of the dreadful incompatibility of how we live and what we sense.'
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

I found that comforting...especially the part about our incompatibility. Maybe I'm not alone in this after all.

It looks as though I'm going to have to leave my thoughts on racial segregation and the wounds of South Africa to another blog...or perhaps I'm going to have to turn that one into a book....

I have six weeks left here. I am not looking forward to leaving this country, yet..I'm also a little tired of it too...
It would seem I'm not satisified no matter where I go!

Until next time...

My Winter Turned Summer

Hello!

Well. Here it is. My first blog in South Africa. I can guarantee that it will be written over a few days. I have very limited access to internet...and to be honest...I kind of like it that way!

So what have I been up to since I landed?
Let's start with the plane ride.

I got maybe two hours sleep in a period of 48 hours. Even with one gravol, one sleeping tablet, and a glass of wine (I was desperate) I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Nothing to report about the actual trip. We had an eight hour lay over in London. It was a little frustrating sitting in that airport and thinking that my beautiful friend, Saskia, was just a short two hour drive away. But there wasn't much I could do...
Oh. Another thing was we met up with the British Columbia CWY team...they were staying on the Sunshine Coast and are doing their exchange in Athalone, South Africa. So it was nice meeting new people...and talking to guys for a change. The plane food was good for once...minus our last breakfast which was plastic egg and something they called sausage. They had Inception under the movie selection. But it seemed a little too ambitious to watch that movie on such a small screen.

So... South Africa. We arrived to >30+ heat..completely exhausted...smelling not so pleasant...but really excited. I remember that first taxi ride to the facility where we were going to have our orientation camp. Now for those of you picturing a shiny, yellow little taxi that comfortably seats four, you are mistaken. In SA a taxi is a big van that fits from 15-22 people...not quite as comfortable. Leaving the airport and driving through the different communities, I felt such a sense of...rightness. Sorry I don't know what the appropriate word is. I just felt, at that moment, like this was were I was supposed to be. I can't remember the last time I felt that....such a wonderful feeling.

The first thing that struck me though was the stark contrasts between the different areas we went through. We passed by communities of informal settlements made up of hundreds of shacks crammed next to each other and then would go by beautiful suburbs with nicely spaced houses much nicer than most in Canada. It blows my mind the gap between rich and poor here...it's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to actually see it. I heard just this week too that South Africa has the largest gap between rich in poor in the world...not surprising. I think I'm going to have to dedicate a blog solely to this...watch for it...

We ended up going to this place called Strandfontein for our orientation camp. We had the camp with the other CWY group. The actual campsite was a dump. It was one large building with three rooms and a kitchen...ALL >28+ girls stayed in one room...while the 9 guys had the other. And the beds were shady bunk beds with mats about an inch thick. It was great. We were pretty close to the beach though so that was a bonus. Honestly, I do not know what the purpose of us meeting together was. It was poorly organized, we learnt nothing new, the other group was pretty annoying, and the fact that we were all jet lagged certainly didn't help.

After the orientation camp, we headed for our respective host communities. The other CWY group went to Athalone, which is a 'coloured' community, while we made our way to Khayelitsha, a 'black' community. As we were driving from house to house dropping all the pairs off I was quite scared. I remember being nervous meeting my Canadian host family, but it was nothing compared to how nervous I was meeting my SA one. It didn't help that we were not only that last ones dropped off, but we were also placed in a separate section from everyone else. Let me explain. Khayelitsha is divided into sections. I think there are eight in total, but there may be more. I wish I could show you exactly what the sections look like. The streets are wide enough for one car. The houses are packed together...made of brick and are brightly coloured...and are about the size of two train containers put together. I will take pictures and post when I'm back?

My host family. I live with a host mother, Grace, who is in her mid sixties, and her nephew, my host brother, Luvuyo who is 22. It wasn't a great start. Apparently they didn't know we were arriving that day, so they weren't really prepared. And to top it off she, Grace, started off by telling me everything I am not allowed to do. And the way she speaks is quite different to anyone I'm used too...it was almost like she was yelling at me. I tried very hard not to cry (not in front of her anyways). I did once I got to the room. I was completely overwhelmed...that and completely culture shocked. But things have gotten better. I am getting used to the way she communicates, which I now realize isn't yelling. She has a very commanding presence, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She is sweet though. And when she laughs the whole community can hear her. But it's not easy. It's hard to read her, and I always feel like she's upset about something...even though she isn't. My host brother has been great though. He's very helpful with acting as translator, and has been introducing me to all his friends and taking us around with him. I really can't complain. It's different that's all.

Let me tell you about my new way of living though! For those of you who have shower heads and hot water..consider yourselves incredibly privileged. I have to boil my water in this bucket every morning...and I have to use another little bucket to wash my hair. It's quite the process. It took me so long to figure out exactly how to wash my hair..it was a nightmare at first. But I've gotten it down to less than 20 minutes! I'll get to ten soon...just you wait. OH! And I have to do my laundry by hand. Oh my word. It's exhausting. It took me over 2 hours to wash my clothes last week. You know what the problem was? The soap. I couldn't get the damn soap out of my clothes! After I was finished, my back was done for the rest of the week. But you know? I'm enjoying this. I will definitely not take for granted all the luxuries I have back home. That and I am realizing just how much stuff I had back home...all these shortcuts and with everything available at the tip of our fingers. We can be so wasteful...just because we have access to all those luxuries, doesn't mean we have to use them all up, does it? I'm definitely gaining some much needed perspective..and after only three weeks...can only imagine what else I'll learn in the coming months. 

 As for things we've done so far. The first weekend that we were here, we went to the Khayelitsha health summit. It was pretty interesting...There were people from different health organizations and sectors as well as the public. The first day there were many boring presentations from the 'experts' on the health status of Khayelitsha... I understood some of it, but I'm not sure if the majority of the audience did...so I don't know what they were trying to accomplish really. The most interesting part of the summit was the Commissions. They had different topics that they asked the participants to break off into groups and discuss. I chose to be in the Maternity/Women and Children group. It was pretty crazy the stories I heard from the women about the crap that goes on in the health system. Pregnant women, in labour, being turned away from the hospital doors...pregnant teenagers getting reprimanded and mistreated by health staff for being sexually active...women afraid to go to clinics to get HIV tested because of the stigma and, again, staff mistreatment. And to think I had issues with the Canadian health system...

Other things we've been doing during the week have been:
1) Community orientations
2) March to increase awareness about domestic violence to kick of the 16 days of activism
3) Building solar stoves for this even called 350 (check below link):
http://www.350.org/en/about/blogs/south-africa-shines-hope

*I was by the eight ray from the right...the yellow one...maybe you can see me??
4) Visit to neighbouring townships (Gugulethu, Clairemont, Mitchell's Plain)
5) Attended an 'Activating your Feminist Voice' conference
*Note: Very interesting conference put on by the Commission for Gender Equality. It was three days of dialogue discussing women's issues in SA and ways to overcome issues of inequality. Very enlightening...that and it was right on the beach.
6) March in the heart of Cape Town to mark the end of the '16 Days of Activism' Campaign
*Note: This is a worldwide event...look it up. At the end of the March we met in a church and had a number of speakers including the National and Provincial Minister for Social Development. The highlight for me was when they had six different religious leaders present to represent their respective faiths and pledge to fight against violence against women and children. It was quite something...seeing people of such different beliefs come together for a single cause...a beautiful moment.
7) March in Khayelistha to raise awareness on HIV/AIDS in South Africa

As for work placements. We had several organizations come in to discuss working together...and the one I really want to work with is called Simelela (http://www.mosaic.org.za/srh_simelela.html). It's an NGO that works with victims of sexual violence and is in close partnership with the Khayelitsha health clinic...which makes me wonder....
Fingers crossed that the work placement actually goes through...I might have the opportunity to work with the on staff medical doctors. It would be quite the learning experience, I am sure...

One last thing I will touch on. My birthday weekend! I was really quite indifferent about the day and didn't have much motivation to plan anything special. But Saturday two very lovely girls from my group decided to take me along with them to a doctor's appointment...for moral support... It's quite ridiculous when I think back. I didn't ask any questions...I figured she needed support, so she would get it. We go to the place, and then they turn me around and tell me they had planned this for my birthday. It was lovely. We ate Indian food, I had a birthday gift delivered to me by a beautiful man, and then we shopped. I also went to my host brother's friend's place for a braai party...which is just a party where they barbeque lots of meat. The South Africans LOVE their meat. And on Sunday (yesterday) we went to this place called Mzoli's in Gugulethu. The place is infamous...both in a good and bad way. It was fun. We had braai, met lots of people, and danced and danced and danced. I like the place because there is such a wide range of people from all over...whites, coloured, blacks, yellow, orange, pink...you name it.

I think that's enough for the first update. Not really sure what else to add. But, music?
That's probably been one of the most challenging things for me so far. The music here is horrible. It's house...and every single song sounds the same. It was nice at first, and it is great to dance to...but when they blast it out of the pubs, houses, and taxis 24/7 it is quite irritating. My apologies, but I will not post South African music...

Here is an Australian band...a brother/sister duo called Angus and Julia Stone. They make beautiful music. Both the brother and sister sing, but I prefer it when Angus takes the lead. This song is one of the more uplifting on my ipod...called 'Just a Boy'. In my opinion it's a love song. More a love song then most claim to be anyways. Whoever he wrote this song for is one lucky girl. Enjoy!