So, once again I am falling behind in my blog updates.
There is so much to say yet I never have any idea how or where to start. On the plus side, I have been writing in my journal more. I think I have a grand total of five entries semi-completed since I've arrived in South Africa!!
As for updates. Life is moving along here in Khayelitsha. Some interesting events that have happened in the past few weeks....
I've had a few unnerving experiences living in this township. There's no escaping the fact that we are outsiders and everyone knows it. I'm not supposed to be going around alone, but sometimes I don't have any other choice. I was leaving the 'mall' which is situated in one of the sketchiest places in Khayelitsha, known as Site B...also an informal settlement, and was stopped by some police. Now, I don't know who I'm more afraid of...thugs..or police. I'm told the cops (especially 'blacks' and 'coloureds') are more corrupt than anyone else. Anyways, they stopped me and started questioning what I was doing outside on my own. I answered briefly and tried to keep going but they just followed me in the car, still questioning me, until one of the cops got out. Not going to lie. I was pretty terrified. He tells me to get in the car...then laughs and says 'Don't worry, we're not going to arrest you'. I didn't really have a choice at this point so I got in and just prayed as they drove off... Thankfully there is little more to report...after hitting on me, they dropped me off right outside my door.
Apparently Herbi and I almost got mugged walking down a main street...once again by Site B. This woman comes up behind us and asks us what we were thinking and didn't we see those guys. Turns out a group of guys were about to rob us, but walked past and got the people a little ways behind us. I had no idea.... She told me God was watching over us. I have to agree with her on that one.
Besides that, I cannot walk anywhere in Khayelitsha without being cat called or followed..that and cars constantly stop and tell us to get in. I think the most important thing for me is acting confident even when I'm not. That and brisk walking seems to help too...
Anyways! Christmas has come and gone. I'm thankful it's over, honestly speaking. It was the one day I was looking forward to least of all. My actual Christmas was uneventful. I did get to talk to my family which was nice...and I did get some calls from friends too. But I just pretended it was any other day....
Christmas Eve on the other hand was wonderful! I spent the day with my favorite person on the African continent...Herbi. I won't go into details, but the day involved a delicious lunch, Harry Potter, a sail boat, and cheese cake. I couldn't have had a better day...and it definitely took our minds off of things for at least a few hours...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of feeling too. One thing I've been lacking in, to the point where I don't feel complete, is my spirituality. It was the same during the Alberta phase...but I've felt that absence much stronger since I've been here. It probably has to do with the fact that I haven't been attending a church...but more importantly I haven't been sharing my spiritual life with anybody since I've been here... It's funny (yet not at all) how I always come back to this point. My life is completely meaningless without my faith, as irrational as that faith might be. And no matter how many arguments I hear, far more sound than my own, that are against my beliefs....nothing else makes sense to me. That and I cannot shake this feeling of being incomplete the more I am lacking in my spiritual life...things just aren't right then...
Anyways. I didn't mean to make this a rant, but my brother recommended I read Ecclesiastes...so that is what I'm doing (very slowly). Thought I would put down some thoughts I had along the way.
'No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are never content'
-Ecclesiastes 1:8b
'I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.'
-Ecclesiastes 1:13-14
I know I'm not the only one in human existence, that has felt these words align so perfectly with my own thoughts...yet I can't help but feel like I am alone in this at the same time. Right now I'm at that point of analyzing my life and what lies ahead of me...and all I can see is how meaningless everything is. What little I've accomplished...all that I want to achieve...what good is it for?
I like to ask questions. I want to know why things are the way they are. Sometimes I think it a curse that I am this way...I can definitely relate to the author when he says no matter what he sees or hears, he's never satisfied.
Another thing I've been frustrated with lately is prayer. Well, not lately...almost my entire life. I'm starting to think that I don't know how to pray at all. My prayers are in the form of thoughts. But, my mind constantly wanders, and before I know it, I'll end up day dreaming instead. I've been asking myself more and more what the reason for prayer is anyways...why do I bother?
I came across this quote in a church in Town...I guess it makes a better attempt at answering the question than I could...
'The world is aflame with evil and atrocity; the scandal of perpetual desecration of the world cries to high heaven. And we, coming face-to-face with it, are either involved as callous participants or, at best, remain indifferent onlookers....
We pray because the disproportion of human misery and human compassion is so enormous. We pray because our grasp of the depth of suffering is comparable to the scope of perception of a butterfly flying over the Grand Canyon. We pray because of the experience of the dreadful incompatibility of how we live and what we sense.'
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
I found that comforting...especially the part about our incompatibility. Maybe I'm not alone in this after all.
It looks as though I'm going to have to leave my thoughts on racial segregation and the wounds of South Africa to another blog...or perhaps I'm going to have to turn that one into a book....
I have six weeks left here. I am not looking forward to leaving this country, yet..I'm also a little tired of it too...
It would seem I'm not satisified no matter where I go!
Until next time...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
My Winter Turned Summer
Hello!
Well. Here it is. My first blog in South Africa. I can guarantee that it will be written over a few days. I have very limited access to internet...and to be honest...I kind of like it that way!
Well. Here it is. My first blog in South Africa. I can guarantee that it will be written over a few days. I have very limited access to internet...and to be honest...I kind of like it that way!
So what have I been up to since I landed?
Let's start with the plane ride.
I got maybe two hours sleep in a period of 48 hours. Even with one gravol, one sleeping tablet, and a glass of wine (I was desperate) I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Nothing to report about the actual trip. We had an eight hour lay over in London. It was a little frustrating sitting in that airport and thinking that my beautiful friend, Saskia, was just a short two hour drive away. But there wasn't much I could do...
Oh. Another thing was we met up with the British Columbia CWY team...they were staying on the Sunshine Coast and are doing their exchange in Athalone, South Africa. So it was nice meeting new people...and talking to guys for a change. The plane food was good for once...minus our last breakfast which was plastic egg and something they called sausage. They had Inception under the movie selection. But it seemed a little too ambitious to watch that movie on such a small screen.
Let's start with the plane ride.
I got maybe two hours sleep in a period of 48 hours. Even with one gravol, one sleeping tablet, and a glass of wine (I was desperate) I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Nothing to report about the actual trip. We had an eight hour lay over in London. It was a little frustrating sitting in that airport and thinking that my beautiful friend, Saskia, was just a short two hour drive away. But there wasn't much I could do...
Oh. Another thing was we met up with the British Columbia CWY team...they were staying on the Sunshine Coast and are doing their exchange in Athalone, South Africa. So it was nice meeting new people...and talking to guys for a change. The plane food was good for once...minus our last breakfast which was plastic egg and something they called sausage. They had Inception under the movie selection. But it seemed a little too ambitious to watch that movie on such a small screen.
So... South Africa. We arrived to >30+ heat..completely exhausted...smelling not so pleasant...but really excited. I remember that first taxi ride to the facility where we were going to have our orientation camp. Now for those of you picturing a shiny, yellow little taxi that comfortably seats four, you are mistaken. In SA a taxi is a big van that fits from 15-22 people...not quite as comfortable. Leaving the airport and driving through the different communities, I felt such a sense of...rightness. Sorry I don't know what the appropriate word is. I just felt, at that moment, like this was were I was supposed to be. I can't remember the last time I felt that....such a wonderful feeling.
The first thing that struck me though was the stark contrasts between the different areas we went through. We passed by communities of informal settlements made up of hundreds of shacks crammed next to each other and then would go by beautiful suburbs with nicely spaced houses much nicer than most in Canada. It blows my mind the gap between rich and poor here...it's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to actually see it. I heard just this week too that South Africa has the largest gap between rich in poor in the world...not surprising. I think I'm going to have to dedicate a blog solely to this...watch for it...
We ended up going to this place called Strandfontein for our orientation camp. We had the camp with the other CWY group. The actual campsite was a dump. It was one large building with three rooms and a kitchen...ALL >28+ girls stayed in one room...while the 9 guys had the other. And the beds were shady bunk beds with mats about an inch thick. It was great. We were pretty close to the beach though so that was a bonus. Honestly, I do not know what the purpose of us meeting together was. It was poorly organized, we learnt nothing new, the other group was pretty annoying, and the fact that we were all jet lagged certainly didn't help.
The first thing that struck me though was the stark contrasts between the different areas we went through. We passed by communities of informal settlements made up of hundreds of shacks crammed next to each other and then would go by beautiful suburbs with nicely spaced houses much nicer than most in Canada. It blows my mind the gap between rich and poor here...it's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to actually see it. I heard just this week too that South Africa has the largest gap between rich in poor in the world...not surprising. I think I'm going to have to dedicate a blog solely to this...watch for it...
We ended up going to this place called Strandfontein for our orientation camp. We had the camp with the other CWY group. The actual campsite was a dump. It was one large building with three rooms and a kitchen...ALL >28+ girls stayed in one room...while the 9 guys had the other. And the beds were shady bunk beds with mats about an inch thick. It was great. We were pretty close to the beach though so that was a bonus. Honestly, I do not know what the purpose of us meeting together was. It was poorly organized, we learnt nothing new, the other group was pretty annoying, and the fact that we were all jet lagged certainly didn't help.
After the orientation camp, we headed for our respective host communities. The other CWY group went to Athalone, which is a 'coloured' community, while we made our way to Khayelitsha, a 'black' community. As we were driving from house to house dropping all the pairs off I was quite scared. I remember being nervous meeting my Canadian host family, but it was nothing compared to how nervous I was meeting my SA one. It didn't help that we were not only that last ones dropped off, but we were also placed in a separate section from everyone else. Let me explain. Khayelitsha is divided into sections. I think there are eight in total, but there may be more. I wish I could show you exactly what the sections look like. The streets are wide enough for one car. The houses are packed together...made of brick and are brightly coloured...and are about the size of two train containers put together. I will take pictures and post when I'm back?
My host family. I live with a host mother, Grace, who is in her mid sixties, and her nephew, my host brother, Luvuyo who is 22. It wasn't a great start. Apparently they didn't know we were arriving that day, so they weren't really prepared. And to top it off she, Grace, started off by telling me everything I am not allowed to do. And the way she speaks is quite different to anyone I'm used too...it was almost like she was yelling at me. I tried very hard not to cry (not in front of her anyways). I did once I got to the room. I was completely overwhelmed...that and completely culture shocked. But things have gotten better. I am getting used to the way she communicates, which I now realize isn't yelling. She has a very commanding presence, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She is sweet though. And when she laughs the whole community can hear her. But it's not easy. It's hard to read her, and I always feel like she's upset about something...even though she isn't. My host brother has been great though. He's very helpful with acting as translator, and has been introducing me to all his friends and taking us around with him. I really can't complain. It's different that's all.
Let me tell you about my new way of living though! For those of you who have shower heads and hot water..consider yourselves incredibly privileged. I have to boil my water in this bucket every morning...and I have to use another little bucket to wash my hair. It's quite the process. It took me so long to figure out exactly how to wash my hair..it was a nightmare at first. But I've gotten it down to less than 20 minutes! I'll get to ten soon...just you wait. OH! And I have to do my laundry by hand. Oh my word. It's exhausting. It took me over 2 hours to wash my clothes last week. You know what the problem was? The soap. I couldn't get the damn soap out of my clothes! After I was finished, my back was done for the rest of the week. But you know? I'm enjoying this. I will definitely not take for granted all the luxuries I have back home. That and I am realizing just how much stuff I had back home...all these shortcuts and with everything available at the tip of our fingers. We can be so wasteful...just because we have access to all those luxuries, doesn't mean we have to use them all up, does it? I'm definitely gaining some much needed perspective..and after only three weeks...can only imagine what else I'll learn in the coming months.
My host family. I live with a host mother, Grace, who is in her mid sixties, and her nephew, my host brother, Luvuyo who is 22. It wasn't a great start. Apparently they didn't know we were arriving that day, so they weren't really prepared. And to top it off she, Grace, started off by telling me everything I am not allowed to do. And the way she speaks is quite different to anyone I'm used too...it was almost like she was yelling at me. I tried very hard not to cry (not in front of her anyways). I did once I got to the room. I was completely overwhelmed...that and completely culture shocked. But things have gotten better. I am getting used to the way she communicates, which I now realize isn't yelling. She has a very commanding presence, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She is sweet though. And when she laughs the whole community can hear her. But it's not easy. It's hard to read her, and I always feel like she's upset about something...even though she isn't. My host brother has been great though. He's very helpful with acting as translator, and has been introducing me to all his friends and taking us around with him. I really can't complain. It's different that's all.
Let me tell you about my new way of living though! For those of you who have shower heads and hot water..consider yourselves incredibly privileged. I have to boil my water in this bucket every morning...and I have to use another little bucket to wash my hair. It's quite the process. It took me so long to figure out exactly how to wash my hair..it was a nightmare at first. But I've gotten it down to less than 20 minutes! I'll get to ten soon...just you wait. OH! And I have to do my laundry by hand. Oh my word. It's exhausting. It took me over 2 hours to wash my clothes last week. You know what the problem was? The soap. I couldn't get the damn soap out of my clothes! After I was finished, my back was done for the rest of the week. But you know? I'm enjoying this. I will definitely not take for granted all the luxuries I have back home. That and I am realizing just how much stuff I had back home...all these shortcuts and with everything available at the tip of our fingers. We can be so wasteful...just because we have access to all those luxuries, doesn't mean we have to use them all up, does it? I'm definitely gaining some much needed perspective..and after only three weeks...can only imagine what else I'll learn in the coming months.
As for things we've done so far. The first weekend that we were here, we went to the Khayelitsha health summit. It was pretty interesting...There were people from different health organizations and sectors as well as the public. The first day there were many boring presentations from the 'experts' on the health status of Khayelitsha... I understood some of it, but I'm not sure if the majority of the audience did...so I don't know what they were trying to accomplish really. The most interesting part of the summit was the Commissions. They had different topics that they asked the participants to break off into groups and discuss. I chose to be in the Maternity/Women and Children group. It was pretty crazy the stories I heard from the women about the crap that goes on in the health system. Pregnant women, in labour, being turned away from the hospital doors...pregnant teenagers getting reprimanded and mistreated by health staff for being sexually active...women afraid to go to clinics to get HIV tested because of the stigma and, again, staff mistreatment. And to think I had issues with the Canadian health system...
Other things we've been doing during the week have been:
1) Community orientations
2) March to increase awareness about domestic violence to kick of the 16 days of activism
3) Building solar stoves for this even called 350 (check below link):
http://www.350.org/en/about/blogs/south-africa-shines-hope
1) Community orientations
2) March to increase awareness about domestic violence to kick of the 16 days of activism
3) Building solar stoves for this even called 350 (check below link):
http://www.350.org/en/about/blogs/south-africa-shines-hope
*I was by the eight ray from the right...the yellow one...maybe you can see me??
4) Visit to neighbouring townships (Gugulethu, Clairemont, Mitchell's Plain)
5) Attended an 'Activating your Feminist Voice' conference
*Note: Very interesting conference put on by the Commission for Gender Equality. It was three days of dialogue discussing women's issues in SA and ways to overcome issues of inequality. Very enlightening...that and it was right on the beach.
6) March in the heart of Cape Town to mark the end of the '16 Days of Activism' Campaign
*Note: This is a worldwide event...look it up. At the end of the March we met in a church and had a number of speakers including the National and Provincial Minister for Social Development. The highlight for me was when they had six different religious leaders present to represent their respective faiths and pledge to fight against violence against women and children. It was quite something...seeing people of such different beliefs come together for a single cause...a beautiful moment.
7) March in Khayelistha to raise awareness on HIV/AIDS in South Africa
4) Visit to neighbouring townships (Gugulethu, Clairemont, Mitchell's Plain)
5) Attended an 'Activating your Feminist Voice' conference
*Note: Very interesting conference put on by the Commission for Gender Equality. It was three days of dialogue discussing women's issues in SA and ways to overcome issues of inequality. Very enlightening...that and it was right on the beach.
6) March in the heart of Cape Town to mark the end of the '16 Days of Activism' Campaign
*Note: This is a worldwide event...look it up. At the end of the March we met in a church and had a number of speakers including the National and Provincial Minister for Social Development. The highlight for me was when they had six different religious leaders present to represent their respective faiths and pledge to fight against violence against women and children. It was quite something...seeing people of such different beliefs come together for a single cause...a beautiful moment.
7) March in Khayelistha to raise awareness on HIV/AIDS in South Africa
As for work placements. We had several organizations come in to discuss working together...and the one I really want to work with is called Simelela (http://www.mosaic.org.za/srh_simelela.html). It's an NGO that works with victims of sexual violence and is in close partnership with the Khayelitsha health clinic...which makes me wonder....
Fingers crossed that the work placement actually goes through...I might have the opportunity to work with the on staff medical doctors. It would be quite the learning experience, I am sure...
One last thing I will touch on. My birthday weekend! I was really quite indifferent about the day and didn't have much motivation to plan anything special. But Saturday two very lovely girls from my group decided to take me along with them to a doctor's appointment...for moral support... It's quite ridiculous when I think back. I didn't ask any questions...I figured she needed support, so she would get it. We go to the place, and then they turn me around and tell me they had planned this for my birthday. It was lovely. We ate Indian food, I had a birthday gift delivered to me by a beautiful man, and then we shopped. I also went to my host brother's friend's place for a braai party...which is just a party where they barbeque lots of meat. The South Africans LOVE their meat. And on Sunday (yesterday) we went to this place called Mzoli's in Gugulethu. The place is infamous...both in a good and bad way. It was fun. We had braai, met lots of people, and danced and danced and danced. I like the place because there is such a wide range of people from all over...whites, coloured, blacks, yellow, orange, pink...you name it.
Fingers crossed that the work placement actually goes through...I might have the opportunity to work with the on staff medical doctors. It would be quite the learning experience, I am sure...
One last thing I will touch on. My birthday weekend! I was really quite indifferent about the day and didn't have much motivation to plan anything special. But Saturday two very lovely girls from my group decided to take me along with them to a doctor's appointment...for moral support... It's quite ridiculous when I think back. I didn't ask any questions...I figured she needed support, so she would get it. We go to the place, and then they turn me around and tell me they had planned this for my birthday. It was lovely. We ate Indian food, I had a birthday gift delivered to me by a beautiful man, and then we shopped. I also went to my host brother's friend's place for a braai party...which is just a party where they barbeque lots of meat. The South Africans LOVE their meat. And on Sunday (yesterday) we went to this place called Mzoli's in Gugulethu. The place is infamous...both in a good and bad way. It was fun. We had braai, met lots of people, and danced and danced and danced. I like the place because there is such a wide range of people from all over...whites, coloured, blacks, yellow, orange, pink...you name it.
I think that's enough for the first update. Not really sure what else to add. But, music?
That's probably been one of the most challenging things for me so far. The music here is horrible. It's house...and every single song sounds the same. It was nice at first, and it is great to dance to...but when they blast it out of the pubs, houses, and taxis 24/7 it is quite irritating. My apologies, but I will not post South African music...
That's probably been one of the most challenging things for me so far. The music here is horrible. It's house...and every single song sounds the same. It was nice at first, and it is great to dance to...but when they blast it out of the pubs, houses, and taxis 24/7 it is quite irritating. My apologies, but I will not post South African music...
Here is an Australian band...a brother/sister duo called Angus and Julia Stone. They make beautiful music. Both the brother and sister sing, but I prefer it when Angus takes the lead. This song is one of the more uplifting on my ipod...called 'Just a Boy'. In my opinion it's a love song. More a love song then most claim to be anyways. Whoever he wrote this song for is one lucky girl. Enjoy!
Monday, November 15, 2010
End of an Era
So. Here it is...the last of my blog entries for the Canadian phase of this exchange.
I've been strangely calm today. Not sure how I managed that. I still have some packing to do, a room to clean, a letter to send, a prescription to fill, and a VISA pin number to change. But I have till noon tomorrow...and I have faith that it will get done in time. I leave for South Africa tomorrow. I have been waiting for this moment since May...but though the time has come I can't quite believe it's happening...
I've been strangely calm today. Not sure how I managed that. I still have some packing to do, a room to clean, a letter to send, a prescription to fill, and a VISA pin number to change. But I have till noon tomorrow...and I have faith that it will get done in time. I leave for South Africa tomorrow. I have been waiting for this moment since May...but though the time has come I can't quite believe it's happening...
We are going to be in transit, the whole lot of us, for 35+ hours. I love traveling. But I am not looking forward to this particular trip...especially the plane ride. 18 women on two separate flights, one long stop over, and two bus rides....it will be a miracle if we all make it in one piece.
The schedule is as follows (in Alberta time):
1. 1:00 pm- Leave Camrose
2. 4:30 pm- Arrive at Calgary Interational
3. 8:45 pm- Fly to London Heathrow
4. 5:00 am- Arrive in London
5. 1:00 pm (ish)- Fly to Cape Town Interational
6. 12:30 am- Arrive in Cape Town
7. 2:00 am- Arrive in Orientation Camp
The schedule is as follows (in Alberta time):
1. 1:00 pm- Leave Camrose
2. 4:30 pm- Arrive at Calgary Interational
3. 8:45 pm- Fly to London Heathrow
4. 5:00 am- Arrive in London
5. 1:00 pm (ish)- Fly to Cape Town Interational
6. 12:30 am- Arrive in Cape Town
7. 2:00 am- Arrive in Orientation Camp
Cape Town is ten hours ahead of Vancouver....so we should be arriving in South Africa around 1 pm local time. But there you have it....1.5 days in transit....
Similar to when I was getting ready to leave for Camrose, I am feeling a mixture of emotions. I thought that any feelings of sadness for leaving this place would be completely overshadowed by my excitement and joy for the change. That's not really the case right now.
During the 2.5 months that I have been here, I have had many difficult and emotionally exhausting experiences. But during those times, I have failed to really focus any of my energy on the positives. I hate when people say you never quite realize what you have until it's gone...it certainly applies here though. My heart is really quite heavy right now. I've become quite attached to some people...especially in the last couple of weeks. I don't know how it is that in such a small town I was able to meet some of the most inspiring people I have ever known in my life. I didn't focus enough of my energy or thoughts on them because I was so wrapped up in myself...and I will probably always regret that. But, I should also be thankful that in the end, I was able to realize and appreciate their worth.
I wish I could share with you exactly who these people are, and what they have given me but words will never do their characters justice. All I know is that even though I have questioned again and again the reasons for my being here, having been given this opportunity to know them is reason enough. For a period of time, I was wondering if I was gaining anything at all...but I am starting to see that I have learnt more in these past few weeks than I have in a very long time.
During the 2.5 months that I have been here, I have had many difficult and emotionally exhausting experiences. But during those times, I have failed to really focus any of my energy on the positives. I hate when people say you never quite realize what you have until it's gone...it certainly applies here though. My heart is really quite heavy right now. I've become quite attached to some people...especially in the last couple of weeks. I don't know how it is that in such a small town I was able to meet some of the most inspiring people I have ever known in my life. I didn't focus enough of my energy or thoughts on them because I was so wrapped up in myself...and I will probably always regret that. But, I should also be thankful that in the end, I was able to realize and appreciate their worth.
I wish I could share with you exactly who these people are, and what they have given me but words will never do their characters justice. All I know is that even though I have questioned again and again the reasons for my being here, having been given this opportunity to know them is reason enough. For a period of time, I was wondering if I was gaining anything at all...but I am starting to see that I have learnt more in these past few weeks than I have in a very long time.
I can speak a bit about my host parents. I said it before, and I will say it again...I am not looking forward to leaving them. They have been absolutely wonderful to me. From the start I was welcomed into their home as family, and have truly been made to feel as such. Besides my own parents, I haven't come close to regarding anyone else in the same light...until I got to know my hosts that is.
They were so kind as to also invite my parents and brother to come and stay at the house when they visited. Though they enjoy meeting new people, I know they did it mainly for me. I have already decided to come back next year, early summer to visit them. The fact that I will be seeing them again in the near future makes me feel a bit better about leaving now...
They were so kind as to also invite my parents and brother to come and stay at the house when they visited. Though they enjoy meeting new people, I know they did it mainly for me. I have already decided to come back next year, early summer to visit them. The fact that I will be seeing them again in the near future makes me feel a bit better about leaving now...
I guess this leads to the highlight for the week. As mentioned, my parents visited. It was exactly what I needed, seeing them...but it was also even more difficult saying goodbye for the second time. The family absolutely loved Dave and Melanie and though it was such a short visit, we all got a lot out of it.
Well I should probably draw this to a close. There's much more to say but I have no time...
Here is a song though. It's by Ane Brun. My favorite female artist...and quite possibly favorite artist ever.
I absolutely love this song. Heard it over two years ago, and have yet to grow tired of it.
Enjoy!
I guess the next time you hear from me (if you do!) it will be from the beautiful continent of Africa.
Until next time....
Monday, November 8, 2010
Profound Thoughts on Tea
This isn't an update and doesn't really have anything to do to with anything...but I felt like writing anyways.
I'm in the middle of reading this book, 'The Elegance of the Hedgehog'. It was first recommended to me by someone who's suggestions have never failed to astound over the past five years. It was largely because of him that I rediscovered the magic that is the written word. It took me two years to actually get to this book though...and for many reasons (mainly relating to the insanity that is this program) I have had to restart this book four times.....
I came across a particular section today that absolutely blew me away...I was left with no choice, but to share it. An entire page was devoted to the act of tea drinking, but here is my favorite part:
'When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?
The tea ritual: such a precise repetition of the same gestures and the same tastes; accession to simple, authentic and refined sensations, a license given to all, at little cost, to become aristocrats of taste, because tea is the beverage of the wealth and of the poor; the tea ritual, therefore, has the extraordinary virtue of introducing into the absurdity of our lives an aperture of serene harmony. Yes, the world may aspire to vacuousness, lost souls mourn beauty, insignificance surrounds us. then let us drink a cup of tea. Silence descends, one hears the wind outside, autumn leaves rustle and take flight, the cat sleeps in a warm pool of light. And, with each swallow, time is sublimed.'
Any living being who could describe the act of tea drinking as something not unlike a profound spiritual experience is an absolute genius...
For those who know me well, tea , specifically Ceylon Orange Pekoe, is for me, much what breath is for the body. I cannot go through the day without my tea fix. Lately I've been drinking at least four cups in a day...and often I will not be able to sleep without my last cup. I've never given much thought to it before. But reading this, the author could not have expressed this addiction of mine any more articulately. Especially the bit about the world aspiring to vacuousness, lost souls mourning beauty, and being surrounded by insignificance.....that's a pretty good summary of how I've been feeling lately...but before I am able to sit and think about it...I go to my cup of tea. And when that mug is in my hand, and I have taken that first sip...I am one step closer to being at peace with the world.
This isn't a regular blog entry, but it still deserves a song I say.
In keeping with the theme of serenity, here's some music that achieves much the same result, but through another means.
Sigur Rós needs no introduction.
This particular song is called: Með Suð Í Eyrum (translated: With a Humming in Our Ears)
Goodnight.
I'm in the middle of reading this book, 'The Elegance of the Hedgehog'. It was first recommended to me by someone who's suggestions have never failed to astound over the past five years. It was largely because of him that I rediscovered the magic that is the written word. It took me two years to actually get to this book though...and for many reasons (mainly relating to the insanity that is this program) I have had to restart this book four times.....
I came across a particular section today that absolutely blew me away...I was left with no choice, but to share it. An entire page was devoted to the act of tea drinking, but here is my favorite part:
'When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?
The tea ritual: such a precise repetition of the same gestures and the same tastes; accession to simple, authentic and refined sensations, a license given to all, at little cost, to become aristocrats of taste, because tea is the beverage of the wealth and of the poor; the tea ritual, therefore, has the extraordinary virtue of introducing into the absurdity of our lives an aperture of serene harmony. Yes, the world may aspire to vacuousness, lost souls mourn beauty, insignificance surrounds us. then let us drink a cup of tea. Silence descends, one hears the wind outside, autumn leaves rustle and take flight, the cat sleeps in a warm pool of light. And, with each swallow, time is sublimed.'
Any living being who could describe the act of tea drinking as something not unlike a profound spiritual experience is an absolute genius...
For those who know me well, tea , specifically Ceylon Orange Pekoe, is for me, much what breath is for the body. I cannot go through the day without my tea fix. Lately I've been drinking at least four cups in a day...and often I will not be able to sleep without my last cup. I've never given much thought to it before. But reading this, the author could not have expressed this addiction of mine any more articulately. Especially the bit about the world aspiring to vacuousness, lost souls mourning beauty, and being surrounded by insignificance.....that's a pretty good summary of how I've been feeling lately...but before I am able to sit and think about it...I go to my cup of tea. And when that mug is in my hand, and I have taken that first sip...I am one step closer to being at peace with the world.
This isn't a regular blog entry, but it still deserves a song I say.
In keeping with the theme of serenity, here's some music that achieves much the same result, but through another means.
Sigur Rós needs no introduction.
This particular song is called: Með Suð Í Eyrum (translated: With a Humming in Our Ears)
Goodnight.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Counting Sheep
I tried to write a song this evening....but gave up after ten minutes.
I don't know why I'm having such difficulty. I feel as though there are a thousand songs piled up inside me and I'm bursting at the seams. What a shame it would be if I were to rupture without having had the chance to record any of them. But for now my mediocre attempts at recording these songs will have to do. Better that than have no music at all...
It's been another two weeks. I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't like blogging. Well, I definitely prefer it to keeping a journal....still stuck on the first entry of my journal which I started mid September. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have to revisit everything that has happened in that time. That requires feeling and thinking things I'd rather not, all over again... That and I thrive off procrastination.
There is one thing about this blog that I can say with complete certainty. I start writing an entry when I want to avoid sleeping. One other thing that works real well for me when I want to avoid slumber is that I count sheep. I'm sure you all have heard that counting sheep is a method most commonly used to fall asleep. Bollocks. I have never found it to be the case for myself and can't see it working for anyone else either. Consider blogging my form of counting sheep.
I have two weeks left in Camrose...13 days exactly. And thank the heavens for that!! I don't know what to say about my time here. It has been exhausting. I could really do with a change of scenery.
I'm not sure if I'll miss it. Right now, I certainly don't think I'll miss it here. Though there are some things about the place I have grown fond of. Here's a list of them:
1. I have really enjoyed getting to know Tiff, my supervisor at Sahakarini. She has been a breath of fresh air amidst the chaos of this program. I've learnt a lot from her and her perspectives on the world, development, and human nature... She's a quality individual, the likes of which I rarely come across. She has given me much to think about, mainly about myself and what I believe...but I needed that.
2. I have found some beauty in this town. I've come to appreciate the wide and unencumbered skies. The night sky here is gorgeous. I could lay outside and watch the stars all night... I don't have that desire so much back home...
3. I have met many people. Some great, some not so much. Regardless of the fact, I am thankful for all the connections I have made and the people I have gotten to know. Back home I am comfortable. For the most part, I wouldn't bother stepping outside of my social circle. Here I have had the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. That has been very refreshing.
4. I like walking down the street and seeing someone I recognize. I feel that if I had had the opportunity to stay here a bit longer I would really have developed my own sense of community and belonging. It's not so easy (but still possible) to do that in the big city.
5. I have grown quite fond of my host parents. I am not looking forward to leaving them. They have been so good to me and have made me feel like I truly was part of the family. Though, I am already planning on coming back (surprising?) to visit them again. It's only a 14.5 hour drive after all. So it's not really a goodbye...more a see you later...
So there you have it. I can think positively when I put my mind to it :)
Anyways. What can I say about these past two weeks? I'll spare you the details of the program itself and give you a summary of highlights instead.
We were asked to help out with the Augustana campus (U of A) sustainability week FreeCycle event. It ended up going pretty well! People had to bring in whatever junk they wanted to get rid of whether it be clothes, furniture, books, whatever... Then after all the stuff was collected anyone could come in, by donation, and help themselves to whatever they desired! Donations went to this organization called Christmas Presence. Talk about a small world, but the girl in charge of the whole event is from Vancouver, and lived right off of Commercial as well! The money goes towards purchasing winter items for those in need living in the downtown Eastside. She and a small group head to the Eastside on Christmas Day and hand out the clothing, blankets, food and whatever else they have. She started this up all on her own and it's grown quite a bit since then. An amazing cause...I'm definitely taking part next year.
On the Saturday, we were invited to participate in a traditional Cree tea ceremony on the Hobbema reserve about 45min outside of Camrose. I have never experienced anything quite like it. The ceremony was carried out by a group of elders and is put on in celebration or thanks following a tragic event. This one was put on by this guy who suffered a massive heart attack exactly a year before. He attributed his recovery to the prayers and support of his loved ones. The ceremony was put on to offer blessings to those who blessed him...it was quite something. They started off with the pipe ceremony and prayers. Then we had a meal, where we had to sit and wait until a group of boys/men served each and every single person in the room. Then and only then were we allowed to eat...so the food was a bit cold by the time we got started... After that they had the singing and drums. I have newfound appreciation for the aboriginal people and their history and tradition. I definitely have a lot more to learn about a culture that is so integral to the country I live in...
To continue on the theme of aboriginal history, I invited this guy with a graduate degree in Native studies to come in and speak to us on colonization in Canada. It was great. I was glad for the opportunity to learn from someone who not only grew up in a reserve, but spent his life studying his people, history, and culture. I appreciated the way he led the conversation. It wasn't so much one individual pointing his finger at the guilty party, but more someone who actually knew what he was talking about putting the situation into perspective. One thing he said that really stuck with me was that it's one thing to be aware...it's another to take action based on that awareness. We can talk until the cows come home about all that is wrong with the world..but it means absolutely nothing until we act and move towards change. Whatever that change might look like...
Ok. So Herbi (one of my favorites) and I went to see a show at a pub. We ended up seeing a local Edmonton band (punk/folk/ska?) play and then hanging out with the band members afterwards. Man, was it ever nice to talk to guys for a change. We went to this shady pub called the Windsor. I'm not even sure how to describe the place. There was an old country cover band playing, shuffle board, everyone in there was sketchy, >50, and very drunk, AND there were giant animal heads plastered all over the walls. Definitely my kind of...club...
OH! The best part of this, is that the place is owned by...of all people...Sri Lankans! Quite possibly the only Sri Lankans in town too. Ha...go figure. Needless to say. It was a good night. Met some great guys, listened to great music, and had a great time.
Halloween was alright. I dressed up as a bag of Jelly Bellys. It was the easiest thing I could find and put together the day of. But, it was quite possibly the best costume I've ever had. I wore a clear plastic garbage bag and filled them all with little multi-coloured balloons. I tied myself up and made a Jelly Belly sign by hand. I'm not going to lie...I was pretty fricken' cute. Though it was incredibly difficult to sit down or do anything for that matter. Now I know what it feels like to be in my third trimester carrying triplets.
I'm usually not this lucky, but lately I've come across artist after artist that have renewed my faith in the world. I don't know what it is about a Swede's genetic composition, but my word, the music that comes out of that country.... If there were ever a good reason for gene therapy, this would be it.
The spotlight artist this week is Nina Kinert. She's friends with Ane Brun which automatically makes her genius. I have fallen in love with her entire album 'Pets and Friends', but there are a couple songs that have stuck with me.
This particular one is called 'The Story Goes'. I've been feeling a lot of things lately...alot of which is given voice through this song. It's amazing that I have space to feel outside of this program...my limits reach further than I ever imagined! This song spoke to me more than most do (which is saying a lot). I'm in that place right now, that place of figuring out what exactly my story is and how it's supposed to continue....
I would give anything to shoot my demons down...but that means accepting that my story goes on. It also means that some people are, as she says, never to come back. I hate leaving stories behind...especially when they didn't go the way I would have wished. But I hate leaving people behind even more.
Goodnight for now.
I don't know why I'm having such difficulty. I feel as though there are a thousand songs piled up inside me and I'm bursting at the seams. What a shame it would be if I were to rupture without having had the chance to record any of them. But for now my mediocre attempts at recording these songs will have to do. Better that than have no music at all...
It's been another two weeks. I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't like blogging. Well, I definitely prefer it to keeping a journal....still stuck on the first entry of my journal which I started mid September. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have to revisit everything that has happened in that time. That requires feeling and thinking things I'd rather not, all over again... That and I thrive off procrastination.
There is one thing about this blog that I can say with complete certainty. I start writing an entry when I want to avoid sleeping. One other thing that works real well for me when I want to avoid slumber is that I count sheep. I'm sure you all have heard that counting sheep is a method most commonly used to fall asleep. Bollocks. I have never found it to be the case for myself and can't see it working for anyone else either. Consider blogging my form of counting sheep.
I have two weeks left in Camrose...13 days exactly. And thank the heavens for that!! I don't know what to say about my time here. It has been exhausting. I could really do with a change of scenery.
I'm not sure if I'll miss it. Right now, I certainly don't think I'll miss it here. Though there are some things about the place I have grown fond of. Here's a list of them:
1. I have really enjoyed getting to know Tiff, my supervisor at Sahakarini. She has been a breath of fresh air amidst the chaos of this program. I've learnt a lot from her and her perspectives on the world, development, and human nature... She's a quality individual, the likes of which I rarely come across. She has given me much to think about, mainly about myself and what I believe...but I needed that.
2. I have found some beauty in this town. I've come to appreciate the wide and unencumbered skies. The night sky here is gorgeous. I could lay outside and watch the stars all night... I don't have that desire so much back home...
3. I have met many people. Some great, some not so much. Regardless of the fact, I am thankful for all the connections I have made and the people I have gotten to know. Back home I am comfortable. For the most part, I wouldn't bother stepping outside of my social circle. Here I have had the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. That has been very refreshing.
4. I like walking down the street and seeing someone I recognize. I feel that if I had had the opportunity to stay here a bit longer I would really have developed my own sense of community and belonging. It's not so easy (but still possible) to do that in the big city.
5. I have grown quite fond of my host parents. I am not looking forward to leaving them. They have been so good to me and have made me feel like I truly was part of the family. Though, I am already planning on coming back (surprising?) to visit them again. It's only a 14.5 hour drive after all. So it's not really a goodbye...more a see you later...
So there you have it. I can think positively when I put my mind to it :)
Anyways. What can I say about these past two weeks? I'll spare you the details of the program itself and give you a summary of highlights instead.
We were asked to help out with the Augustana campus (U of A) sustainability week FreeCycle event. It ended up going pretty well! People had to bring in whatever junk they wanted to get rid of whether it be clothes, furniture, books, whatever... Then after all the stuff was collected anyone could come in, by donation, and help themselves to whatever they desired! Donations went to this organization called Christmas Presence. Talk about a small world, but the girl in charge of the whole event is from Vancouver, and lived right off of Commercial as well! The money goes towards purchasing winter items for those in need living in the downtown Eastside. She and a small group head to the Eastside on Christmas Day and hand out the clothing, blankets, food and whatever else they have. She started this up all on her own and it's grown quite a bit since then. An amazing cause...I'm definitely taking part next year.
On the Saturday, we were invited to participate in a traditional Cree tea ceremony on the Hobbema reserve about 45min outside of Camrose. I have never experienced anything quite like it. The ceremony was carried out by a group of elders and is put on in celebration or thanks following a tragic event. This one was put on by this guy who suffered a massive heart attack exactly a year before. He attributed his recovery to the prayers and support of his loved ones. The ceremony was put on to offer blessings to those who blessed him...it was quite something. They started off with the pipe ceremony and prayers. Then we had a meal, where we had to sit and wait until a group of boys/men served each and every single person in the room. Then and only then were we allowed to eat...so the food was a bit cold by the time we got started... After that they had the singing and drums. I have newfound appreciation for the aboriginal people and their history and tradition. I definitely have a lot more to learn about a culture that is so integral to the country I live in...
To continue on the theme of aboriginal history, I invited this guy with a graduate degree in Native studies to come in and speak to us on colonization in Canada. It was great. I was glad for the opportunity to learn from someone who not only grew up in a reserve, but spent his life studying his people, history, and culture. I appreciated the way he led the conversation. It wasn't so much one individual pointing his finger at the guilty party, but more someone who actually knew what he was talking about putting the situation into perspective. One thing he said that really stuck with me was that it's one thing to be aware...it's another to take action based on that awareness. We can talk until the cows come home about all that is wrong with the world..but it means absolutely nothing until we act and move towards change. Whatever that change might look like...
Ok. So Herbi (one of my favorites) and I went to see a show at a pub. We ended up seeing a local Edmonton band (punk/folk/ska?) play and then hanging out with the band members afterwards. Man, was it ever nice to talk to guys for a change. We went to this shady pub called the Windsor. I'm not even sure how to describe the place. There was an old country cover band playing, shuffle board, everyone in there was sketchy, >50, and very drunk, AND there were giant animal heads plastered all over the walls. Definitely my kind of...club...
OH! The best part of this, is that the place is owned by...of all people...Sri Lankans! Quite possibly the only Sri Lankans in town too. Ha...go figure. Needless to say. It was a good night. Met some great guys, listened to great music, and had a great time.
Halloween was alright. I dressed up as a bag of Jelly Bellys. It was the easiest thing I could find and put together the day of. But, it was quite possibly the best costume I've ever had. I wore a clear plastic garbage bag and filled them all with little multi-coloured balloons. I tied myself up and made a Jelly Belly sign by hand. I'm not going to lie...I was pretty fricken' cute. Though it was incredibly difficult to sit down or do anything for that matter. Now I know what it feels like to be in my third trimester carrying triplets.
I'm usually not this lucky, but lately I've come across artist after artist that have renewed my faith in the world. I don't know what it is about a Swede's genetic composition, but my word, the music that comes out of that country.... If there were ever a good reason for gene therapy, this would be it.
The spotlight artist this week is Nina Kinert. She's friends with Ane Brun which automatically makes her genius. I have fallen in love with her entire album 'Pets and Friends', but there are a couple songs that have stuck with me.
This particular one is called 'The Story Goes'. I've been feeling a lot of things lately...alot of which is given voice through this song. It's amazing that I have space to feel outside of this program...my limits reach further than I ever imagined! This song spoke to me more than most do (which is saying a lot). I'm in that place right now, that place of figuring out what exactly my story is and how it's supposed to continue....
I would give anything to shoot my demons down...but that means accepting that my story goes on. It also means that some people are, as she says, never to come back. I hate leaving stories behind...especially when they didn't go the way I would have wished. But I hate leaving people behind even more.
Goodnight for now.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Call Me Clementine
Hello.
It's been awhile hasn't it? There's good reason for that.
I'll make a very long story a (somewhat) short one.
But then I was confused...and just a little bit annoyed. Well yes I was annoyed with the entire Western World, but also with the author of the article, and those that share the same sentiments. Take note of the paragraph where he mentions the West being 'wracked by the guilt' and how some of those very people are being spurned to act on that guilt by taking up internships. Maybe I was annoyed because it applies to me, but a huge part of it now has to do with the issues that are arising within this program.
Let me explain. As you know, it is South Africans here along with Canadians on the exchange. All of us have heard of apartheid and that it's ending is fairly recent in relation to major historical events...but let me tell you, the effects of it are far from removed. This is an obvious statement I realize, but I am learning day by day just how much of an effect it has had on the people...and I have yet to leave for South Africa! Although most of the girls were very young when apartheid ended, it dictated the lives of their parents and has left quite the mark on them...as a result the damage done, and the ingrained bitterness, hatred, and pain felt by one generation is passed on to the next. Needless to say, this bitterness, hatred, and pain is starting to surface in the group. Don't get me wrong. I believe more than anything that people have the right to heal and process as they must...how can anyone forget such unjust so easily? But the way it's been surfacing is just....well, it's causing a lot more division, pain and discomfort amongst the group.
Back to the article and this idea of 'guilt'. Have you ever heard of the term 'white guilt' or 'white privilege' before? Well, I hadn't. What about oppression? Sure we've all heard of oppression, but when's the last time you sat back and thought about how you've oppressed others, or how you were being oppressed. Now take these topics and imagine the group of us, 18 very different girls, trying to come to terms with them. Complete disaster.
What I see happening is something not unlike 'reverse racism'...or let me make up a new term: reverse oppression. There are those in the group now (white/western/whatever the hell you want to call it) that are feeling voiceless...labelled...and dare I say, oppressed. Though it is these very people that are supposed to be the oppressors.
Statements have been made that as a 'white' person, you have to own up to the responsibility that comes with your race...own and up accept the 'white guilt' and 'privilege'. But what are we owning up to? I'm as brown as brown gets, yet I have just as much privilege as the next Canadian, or so I naively like to believe. But, does that mean that this owning up also applies to myself? Needless to say, it's being brought up as an issue of white versus black. And now people are starting to feel attacked, and that they have no right to speak as they weren't the ones oppressed. And it's making me very angry. But where do I fall in? I'm neither black nor white. Why should I be so upset if I'm not even included in the issue. I think the reason is that when I feel something unjust is being done to someone else I won't stand for it. I know what happened during the apartheid is unforgivable, and the separation between the white/coloured/black classes seems like an unending chasm. But is labeling others, and making them feel incredibly little helping the situation at all? THIS. IS. SO. FRUSTRATING.
Song #2: Beirut's 'Scenic World' (accordion version)
This song and video make me happy. And that is reason enough to post it. Do yourself a favour and watch it.
Goodnight everyone.
I still miss you all.
It's been awhile hasn't it? There's good reason for that.
I'll make a very long story a (somewhat) short one.
I had a very interesting past couple weeks.... Over two weeks ago, an incident happened at my host family's house which made me incredibly upset. Now stuff has been building up for over a month, but I had tried coping with it in different ways. But the way I was coping with it, first off, wasn't a means to cope at all, and secondly, it was only making the situation a whole lot worse. I ended up leaving the house that particular evening in order to cool down and think things over. I continued thinking things over for the remainder of the week, and well...things certainly didn't get any better. I guess you could say shit hit the fan. By Friday night I decided that I could not live in the house any longer. Either I was going to move houses or I would leave the program.
If you could only have seen the emotional trauma I went through that week. It was probably one of the worst weeks of my life, if not the worst. From Sunday (day of said incident) to Saturday I spent each moment in that house incredibly stressed, anxious, and uncomfortable. I have never felt so uncomfortable and not in control of a situation as I did then.... But after waiting a week for my supervisors to come to any concrete decision, I ended up taking things into my own hands and just left the house Saturday evening. Thanksgiving Sunday, I officially moved out of the house. And what a horrible hour that was. I felt awful. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The family didn't see it coming, and it was painful not being in the right place to explain why to them. But all I knew was that I wouldn't have been able to take any more emotional damage caused by me being there...and I had to think of myself for once. I guess you could say it was a matter of my sanity and, ultimately, health....
SO! I spent Thanksgiving day with my supervisor Claire and my CP. It was nice being away from Camrose, but at the same time I can't say I enjoyed the weekend either. I felt guilty the entire time. That, and I hated not knowing where I was going to be living. It wasn't the best timing either, as the day after Thanksgiving the entire group was supposed to leave for four days on a Midproject Camp. So thus I continued another week of discomfort, not knowing where I was going or what was going to happen...
Let's fast forward a bit. Following Midproject, my CP and I moved into our new home Friday evening. And all I can say for now regarding my new home is, so far...so good....
If you could only have seen the emotional trauma I went through that week. It was probably one of the worst weeks of my life, if not the worst. From Sunday (day of said incident) to Saturday I spent each moment in that house incredibly stressed, anxious, and uncomfortable. I have never felt so uncomfortable and not in control of a situation as I did then.... But after waiting a week for my supervisors to come to any concrete decision, I ended up taking things into my own hands and just left the house Saturday evening. Thanksgiving Sunday, I officially moved out of the house. And what a horrible hour that was. I felt awful. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The family didn't see it coming, and it was painful not being in the right place to explain why to them. But all I knew was that I wouldn't have been able to take any more emotional damage caused by me being there...and I had to think of myself for once. I guess you could say it was a matter of my sanity and, ultimately, health....
SO! I spent Thanksgiving day with my supervisor Claire and my CP. It was nice being away from Camrose, but at the same time I can't say I enjoyed the weekend either. I felt guilty the entire time. That, and I hated not knowing where I was going to be living. It wasn't the best timing either, as the day after Thanksgiving the entire group was supposed to leave for four days on a Midproject Camp. So thus I continued another week of discomfort, not knowing where I was going or what was going to happen...
Let's fast forward a bit. Following Midproject, my CP and I moved into our new home Friday evening. And all I can say for now regarding my new home is, so far...so good....
Sorry if I've been sounding a bit vague. I don't think it's appropriate to divulge the details of what went down exactly. I can say now though that I believe I've made the right decision (for a number of reasons). The first, and probably most important, is I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders and I don't need to check myself into a mental asylum just yet. Secondly, things have improved incredibly with my CP. And by incredibly I mean we talk to each other now!! Thirdly, I feel more at peace than I have felt in awhile....well as much peace as one can get on this program anyways...
So, we're kind of up to date but also very far from. Though things are going better on the host family and CP fronts, things are far from ideal regarding everything else. I wish I could explain to you exactly what is going on, but I have no idea where to start. I have never had to face so many different emotionally exhausting situations at the same time, as I have these past few weeks. As soon as I believe myself to be at the point of just barely coping...another one gets added to the mix. It makes me wonder what my limits actually are. I've never given up on something, but there have been many times in this past while that I have thought about leaving this all behind. Oh home. How I miss you.
Ok. I'm going to try again. I want you all to read this article.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/13/AR2007071301714.html
Ok. I'm going to try again. I want you all to read this article.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/13/AR2007071301714.html
What did you feel when you read it? Any thoughts?
Well, my first thought was that a few months back, I could probably relate to that perky, blonde college student...minus the blonde...and the perky.
Afterwards though I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I could relate to that blonde at one point, and that I was guilty for being sucked into believing, without question, the West's portrayal of Africa. Then came the anger. The nerve of these 'wealthy, white' people...these celebrities, and how they take it upon themselves (as they are the obviously the only ones capable of doing so) to save the entire African nation(s). Why why why is it that all that is being portrayed is death, disease, poverty, and starvation...?? And, as the author brings to attention, was it not the West that brought these afflicitions in the first place? How dare the people who pave the way for calamity claim they have the means to help said people out of it.
Afterwards though I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I could relate to that blonde at one point, and that I was guilty for being sucked into believing, without question, the West's portrayal of Africa. Then came the anger. The nerve of these 'wealthy, white' people...these celebrities, and how they take it upon themselves (as they are the obviously the only ones capable of doing so) to save the entire African nation(s). Why why why is it that all that is being portrayed is death, disease, poverty, and starvation...?? And, as the author brings to attention, was it not the West that brought these afflicitions in the first place? How dare the people who pave the way for calamity claim they have the means to help said people out of it.
But then I was confused...and just a little bit annoyed. Well yes I was annoyed with the entire Western World, but also with the author of the article, and those that share the same sentiments. Take note of the paragraph where he mentions the West being 'wracked by the guilt' and how some of those very people are being spurned to act on that guilt by taking up internships. Maybe I was annoyed because it applies to me, but a huge part of it now has to do with the issues that are arising within this program.
Let me explain. As you know, it is South Africans here along with Canadians on the exchange. All of us have heard of apartheid and that it's ending is fairly recent in relation to major historical events...but let me tell you, the effects of it are far from removed. This is an obvious statement I realize, but I am learning day by day just how much of an effect it has had on the people...and I have yet to leave for South Africa! Although most of the girls were very young when apartheid ended, it dictated the lives of their parents and has left quite the mark on them...as a result the damage done, and the ingrained bitterness, hatred, and pain felt by one generation is passed on to the next. Needless to say, this bitterness, hatred, and pain is starting to surface in the group. Don't get me wrong. I believe more than anything that people have the right to heal and process as they must...how can anyone forget such unjust so easily? But the way it's been surfacing is just....well, it's causing a lot more division, pain and discomfort amongst the group.
Back to the article and this idea of 'guilt'. Have you ever heard of the term 'white guilt' or 'white privilege' before? Well, I hadn't. What about oppression? Sure we've all heard of oppression, but when's the last time you sat back and thought about how you've oppressed others, or how you were being oppressed. Now take these topics and imagine the group of us, 18 very different girls, trying to come to terms with them. Complete disaster.
What I see happening is something not unlike 'reverse racism'...or let me make up a new term: reverse oppression. There are those in the group now (white/western/whatever the hell you want to call it) that are feeling voiceless...labelled...and dare I say, oppressed. Though it is these very people that are supposed to be the oppressors.
Statements have been made that as a 'white' person, you have to own up to the responsibility that comes with your race...own and up accept the 'white guilt' and 'privilege'. But what are we owning up to? I'm as brown as brown gets, yet I have just as much privilege as the next Canadian, or so I naively like to believe. But, does that mean that this owning up also applies to myself? Needless to say, it's being brought up as an issue of white versus black. And now people are starting to feel attacked, and that they have no right to speak as they weren't the ones oppressed. And it's making me very angry. But where do I fall in? I'm neither black nor white. Why should I be so upset if I'm not even included in the issue. I think the reason is that when I feel something unjust is being done to someone else I won't stand for it. I know what happened during the apartheid is unforgivable, and the separation between the white/coloured/black classes seems like an unending chasm. But is labeling others, and making them feel incredibly little helping the situation at all? THIS. IS. SO. FRUSTRATING.
Is this making any sense to you? I doubt it. It barely makes sense to me.
On a lighter note, my sister visited me this weekend. I have to say...it was probably the first time I felt happy since I've been here. That and sane. The entire weekend I was calm and at peace with things..she visited at precisely the right time. I love my sister. Very much. We also talked wedding (tabby's tying the knot next year!) which was a nice change of pace . That and boys. Or the lack of men and abundance of boys rather... It's comforting to know that at least one of us has gotten it figured out.
Anyways. I'm going to end here. But lucky for you...I'm going to post two songs instead of one. It's only fair as this is two weeks in coming. I've also figured out how to embed videos (I think?). So I need the practice.
Song #1: Sarah Jaffe's 'Clementine'. It's been my anthem for the past two weeks. I love this girl. What I would give to write like she does. '50 I'm going to change my minds'...'I wish I was a little more delicate'....pure genius.
On a lighter note, my sister visited me this weekend. I have to say...it was probably the first time I felt happy since I've been here. That and sane. The entire weekend I was calm and at peace with things..she visited at precisely the right time. I love my sister. Very much. We also talked wedding (tabby's tying the knot next year!) which was a nice change of pace . That and boys. Or the lack of men and abundance of boys rather... It's comforting to know that at least one of us has gotten it figured out.
Anyways. I'm going to end here. But lucky for you...I'm going to post two songs instead of one. It's only fair as this is two weeks in coming. I've also figured out how to embed videos (I think?). So I need the practice.
Song #1: Sarah Jaffe's 'Clementine'. It's been my anthem for the past two weeks. I love this girl. What I would give to write like she does. '50 I'm going to change my minds'...'I wish I was a little more delicate'....pure genius.
Song #2: Beirut's 'Scenic World' (accordion version)
This song and video make me happy. And that is reason enough to post it. Do yourself a favour and watch it.
Goodnight everyone.
I still miss you all.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A Record of Feelings (Part 2)
I'm not feeling particularly inspired this evening. But if I don't write now, then I probably won't for quite awhile and I barely remember how I felt a week ago as it is....
This post is supposed to be on feelings...so here goes.
There have been quite a few moments over the past couple weeks where I have questioned why I am here, and considered (though fleetingly) how I might be able to just leave... I'm not quite sure if I'm happy here. For the moment I'm content, but life wasn't meant to be lived contentedly. I'd rather be living out an extreme....
Some things that have contributed to my feeling this way have been the group itself and all the issues that come with it. From my first week in Camrose I have felt that there were some girls in particular that had less interest or drive to be in the program. Now over a month in and that feeling hasn't changed one bit. If anything their attitude seems to have gotten worse....
Normally I wouldn't be bothered by people's disinterest..but when it's in a situation like this, where a group functions only through active participation from everyone, it really starts to take its toll. That and when I consider what I gave up back home to be here...and that I am giving my all in this program, it makes me more than a little pissed. If I could know the reasons for why people are here in the first place....was it to experience a new way of life, to give to community, or was it a free ticket out of the country? The whole group is being affected by what's going on. And honestly speaking, I'm not sure how long I can tolerate the lack of interest and presence that some people are showing....to me the way people are treating this program is just disrespectful to those in the group that want to be here...
Another thing that ties in with this issue is the division that has formed within the group. I guess this should have been a given...we normally stick with those we're comfortable with...or those with a very similar cultural background. However, that doesn't necessarily work in this program. The whole purpose was to break cultural barriers...
There is a small group of girls that have become quite separate from the group. It is incredibly difficult to approach them, they speak another language not switching to English to include everyone, and they don't seem to care to build relationships with anyone outside of this exclusive group. This has been particularly hard on me as one of the key players is my own CP. At first I was incredibly bothered by this. The reason I was so emotionally exhausted in my first few weeks here was because of the amount of energy I was putting into building a relationship with her despite no reciprocated effort. I do have new appreciation for the art of teeth pulling if anything.
It wasn't easy for me....especially considering how proud and impatient a person I can be. If anything, through this experience I am slowly seeing that I won't always get to choose the people I am surrounded with. My supervisors first described the CP relationship as an arranged marriage. Seriously. If this was an arranged marriage, I would have gotten it annulled in the first week. But it isn't, so that isn't an option. And for the moment, I have no choice but to stick this out. Though, do you have any idea how difficult it is to not give up on someone who has shown zero interest/desire in getting to know you? It's infuriating...
It has gotten slightly better though (a month later). Though this is a result of many things...supervisor intervention....host family issues...observations from the group....
We'll see. I am still hopeful that things can, and will, change for the better. It would have been nice though if my CP was someone I could depend on...would have made the program so far slightly more bearable.
I haven't even begun to chip away at this iceberg that is representative of my feelings. Or gotten to the part I was most wanting to express. But I'm not really in the mood to write about it at the moment...
My next blog will be entirely devoted to that particular topic. I tentatively promise.
Oh! One thing that did bring me joy this week was the EAD (Education Activity Day) that my group arranged. An EAD is exactly what it sounds like...and this particular day our topic was substance abuse. As the past few weeks of group meetings have been excruciatingly painful, we decided to make this less a feeling session and more an energizing activity. So we created the lesson around a scavenger hunt in which the participants were to gather information regarding substance abuse from different sources around town. I took it upon myself to create the clues and tasks. It ended up being quite the success. I'll attach a couple of the clues from the hunt:
1. Hospital
You come to me when you are weak,
When health does fail and help you seek
We'll do our best to fix you up
Even when your body has had enough
Once you're here, go through the doors
You'll find me on the basement floor
Go to the place where many meet,
There's plenty of room to find a seat.
Bring cash in case your stomach growls
I hear the lemon pie's no foul.
2. Alberta Addiction Centre (AADAC)
We aim to promote the health of all,
From harm by drugs or alcohol.
We offer help if you do ask,
Fighting addiction is no small task.
Support is here when you decide,
To kick the habit one last time.
For gambling we’ll support you too,
We’ll help you find another view
Located in the heart of town,
Right by the place where books are found.
If you’re still unsure to where I’m at,
The mailman knows all of the facts
Your next clue you’ll find in here,
We’re waiting for you to just appear
I love writing riddles. It makes me incredibly happy....I probably enjoyed writing them more than the people actually enjoyed doing the hunt. I should look into potential careers in the field of riddle creating. I'd make millions.
The rest of our EAD included a formal(ish) debate on safe injections sites and we also had a speaker come in from Hobbema, a first nations reserve close to Camrose. It was interesting, and a little sad, hearing accounts of the issues going on within the reserves. Out of a reserve of 10,000 residents, 1000 families on welfare, ridiculously high incidents of substance abuse, high rates of HIV/aids.....how this is happening in a developed country I will never understand.
So a song? Without fail, this one makes me really, really happy each time I listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpaPBCBjSVc&feature=channel
I thought I'd get tired of it after a month, but....nope!
This post is supposed to be on feelings...so here goes.
There have been quite a few moments over the past couple weeks where I have questioned why I am here, and considered (though fleetingly) how I might be able to just leave... I'm not quite sure if I'm happy here. For the moment I'm content, but life wasn't meant to be lived contentedly. I'd rather be living out an extreme....
Some things that have contributed to my feeling this way have been the group itself and all the issues that come with it. From my first week in Camrose I have felt that there were some girls in particular that had less interest or drive to be in the program. Now over a month in and that feeling hasn't changed one bit. If anything their attitude seems to have gotten worse....
Normally I wouldn't be bothered by people's disinterest..but when it's in a situation like this, where a group functions only through active participation from everyone, it really starts to take its toll. That and when I consider what I gave up back home to be here...and that I am giving my all in this program, it makes me more than a little pissed. If I could know the reasons for why people are here in the first place....was it to experience a new way of life, to give to community, or was it a free ticket out of the country? The whole group is being affected by what's going on. And honestly speaking, I'm not sure how long I can tolerate the lack of interest and presence that some people are showing....to me the way people are treating this program is just disrespectful to those in the group that want to be here...
Another thing that ties in with this issue is the division that has formed within the group. I guess this should have been a given...we normally stick with those we're comfortable with...or those with a very similar cultural background. However, that doesn't necessarily work in this program. The whole purpose was to break cultural barriers...
There is a small group of girls that have become quite separate from the group. It is incredibly difficult to approach them, they speak another language not switching to English to include everyone, and they don't seem to care to build relationships with anyone outside of this exclusive group. This has been particularly hard on me as one of the key players is my own CP. At first I was incredibly bothered by this. The reason I was so emotionally exhausted in my first few weeks here was because of the amount of energy I was putting into building a relationship with her despite no reciprocated effort. I do have new appreciation for the art of teeth pulling if anything.
It wasn't easy for me....especially considering how proud and impatient a person I can be. If anything, through this experience I am slowly seeing that I won't always get to choose the people I am surrounded with. My supervisors first described the CP relationship as an arranged marriage. Seriously. If this was an arranged marriage, I would have gotten it annulled in the first week. But it isn't, so that isn't an option. And for the moment, I have no choice but to stick this out. Though, do you have any idea how difficult it is to not give up on someone who has shown zero interest/desire in getting to know you? It's infuriating...
It has gotten slightly better though (a month later). Though this is a result of many things...supervisor intervention....host family issues...observations from the group....
We'll see. I am still hopeful that things can, and will, change for the better. It would have been nice though if my CP was someone I could depend on...would have made the program so far slightly more bearable.
I haven't even begun to chip away at this iceberg that is representative of my feelings. Or gotten to the part I was most wanting to express. But I'm not really in the mood to write about it at the moment...
My next blog will be entirely devoted to that particular topic. I tentatively promise.
Oh! One thing that did bring me joy this week was the EAD (Education Activity Day) that my group arranged. An EAD is exactly what it sounds like...and this particular day our topic was substance abuse. As the past few weeks of group meetings have been excruciatingly painful, we decided to make this less a feeling session and more an energizing activity. So we created the lesson around a scavenger hunt in which the participants were to gather information regarding substance abuse from different sources around town. I took it upon myself to create the clues and tasks. It ended up being quite the success. I'll attach a couple of the clues from the hunt:
1. Hospital
You come to me when you are weak,
When health does fail and help you seek
We'll do our best to fix you up
Even when your body has had enough
Once you're here, go through the doors
You'll find me on the basement floor
Go to the place where many meet,
There's plenty of room to find a seat.
Bring cash in case your stomach growls
I hear the lemon pie's no foul.
2. Alberta Addiction Centre (AADAC)
We aim to promote the health of all,
From harm by drugs or alcohol.
We offer help if you do ask,
Fighting addiction is no small task.
Support is here when you decide,
To kick the habit one last time.
For gambling we’ll support you too,
We’ll help you find another view
Located in the heart of town,
Right by the place where books are found.
If you’re still unsure to where I’m at,
The mailman knows all of the facts
Your next clue you’ll find in here,
We’re waiting for you to just appear
I love writing riddles. It makes me incredibly happy....I probably enjoyed writing them more than the people actually enjoyed doing the hunt. I should look into potential careers in the field of riddle creating. I'd make millions.
The rest of our EAD included a formal(ish) debate on safe injections sites and we also had a speaker come in from Hobbema, a first nations reserve close to Camrose. It was interesting, and a little sad, hearing accounts of the issues going on within the reserves. Out of a reserve of 10,000 residents, 1000 families on welfare, ridiculously high incidents of substance abuse, high rates of HIV/aids.....how this is happening in a developed country I will never understand.
So a song? Without fail, this one makes me really, really happy each time I listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpaPBCBjSVc&feature=channel
I thought I'd get tired of it after a month, but....nope!
Hope it makes you happy too.
Goodnight!
Goodnight!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A Record of Happenings (Part 1)
I bought a rather lovely journal at the start of my time here in Camrose and proceeded to write the first entry the same evening. I have yet to finish that entry. This is mainly because of the fact that I don't believe pen and paper are able to do my thoughts justice in recording them...so I see little need to try. It does look like I am doing a little better with this blog though.
I'm gonna split this one into two parts I think. So much has happened that one will never suffice.
For the first, I will focus more on happenings as opposed to...feelings...
Our second official week in Camrose was exhausting and more than a little stressful. I am surprised my hair didn't turn all gray....
In order to ensure that we started the program off with a bang, our Canadian supervisor enrolled us in three different community events all of which took place in the same weekend. On top of this, most of us started work placements as well. Thankfully my first week with Sahakarini was very relaxed...but more on this later.
The three events we had to participate in were:
1. Alberta Arts Days: A weekend to showcase Alberta artists of every imaginable kind, and to promote the importance of art and culture in a community.
2. Open Door Bed Race: The fundraiser was held for the Open Door, a local organization that works with youth at risk.
3. Stand Up Take Action: An international campaign aimed to bring awareness about worldwide poverty, to bring attention to the UN's MDGs, and to demand world leaders to take action.
Now, these are all great events to participate in, and I fully support involvement in each...but all of them...in one weekend? So you can see how the week might have been just a little stressful
We did manage to get everything done, though I wasn't quite satisfied with the end results. I feel that due to lack of time, lack of interest from some in the group, and zero energy, we half-assed everything. For those of you who know me, I am not one to half-ass a project, and it was incredibly painful not putting more into the events. But it just was not an option. Not only that...I didn't think it was worth it...which makes me feel even worse....but enough..this was not supposed to be about feelings!
Oh. And on top of that, we were asked to participate in the Sahakarini Hike for Hope which also took place that weekend. Though I was looking forward to the event as it was held at a provincial campsite just outside of town and can be quite a lovely spot. BUT, it was raining...and probably around 5C. So, I spent much of the day with my feet up next to the fire trying to dry my socks and shoes....
The following week was definitely less stressful as I continued work at Sahakarini (I will have a fairly routine schedule from now on). Though there is still a lot I don't know about the organization, I did become somewhat more familiar with it this past week....
Sahakarini is an NGO that puts most others to shame. It operates on a scant budget, with most of its funds going to where financial support is needed. In fact, there is only one paid employee (along with countless volunteers) who just so happens to be my supervisor. Her name is Tiff, and she is quite possibly the most good natured, kind hearted person I have ever met.
Sahakarini works by funneling funds (from provincial/federal sources and the generous public) to partner organizations in the international community that initiate and carry out projects with a focus on the development of women and children. International organizations are chosen, and projects funded, based on Sahakarini's mandate...which I won't get into here...
Anyways. What exactly am I doing with them you might ask? That's a good question...and one I'm in the process of answering myself. Our (my work CP and I) main job is to work on Public Engagement. We are to research the existing projects and underlying issues and write articles both for the organization's newsletters and for local media. We also have the opportunity to help put together a curriculum regarding the organizations work, with which we may be able to present to local schools. We hope to also set up community information sessions where we would have panels made up of local experts selected to speak on a topic of our choice (relating to health, gender and development). There is the potential to do as much (or as little) as we choose. I am definitely going to take advantage of the opportunity I have to work with the organization...and I'm really quite lucky that Tiff is so open to the idea of us taking initiative and exploring whatever avenue we desire. I'm hopeful I'll come away from this having a much clearer picture of what development work (even if it's the office aspect) actually entails.
A typical week in Camrose should follow a similar format for the remainder of our time here...
We work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and have Community Activity Days (CAD) on Tuesdays and Educational Activity Days (EAD) on Thursdays. I would love to tell you what a CAD is, but so far we've only had one and it was a bit of a disaster. Following our stressful weekend we were told it would be a day of relaxation where we would watch a relevant and thought provoking movie and perhaps play a game of soccer or something afterwards. We ended up watching 'Shake Hands With the Devil'. Don't know if you're familiar with Romeo Dallaire, or have seen the movie...but it's not one you can watch and not have an intense conversation about afterwards. However, not everyone was of the same mindset. Half of us wanted to talk about it...the other half...had nothing to say. How could you NOT have anything to say about one group of people exterminating another? They said it was not relevant....or that it wasn't fit for a day of relaxation. I was pissed. If the purpose was to meet at 9am to watch 'Enchanted' or something ridiculous, I would have slept in. But again...this blog wasn't supposed to be about feelings...
One other thing that happened this past week. We were all invited to go see Stephen Lewis speak at the University of Alberta in Edmonton. The guy has his own foundation...you can check it out here: http://www.stephenlewisfoundation.org/
It ended up that only 9 of us could go (which caused more grief), but I was one of the lucky few chosen. Anyways. The guy is apparently some big shot. A former politician, CBC broadcaster, UN ambassador, and now a huge advocate for women's empowerment and the eradication of HIV/AIDS.
I have to say though. Despite all the hype this guy has received and all the work he has done...I was pretty disappointed with the talk. I know I can't make any judgement after a one hour presentation, but still... I was hoping to come away enraged, hopeful, and full of passion. Instead I felt the presentation was very subdued and too safe. I also felt he spent too much time patting the Albertans on the back for all of the wonderful work they've done. I found myself embarrassed by some of the things he was saying...how we Canadians are changing the world and saving those in need. I kept thinking what the South African girls might be thinking...and how ridiculous this might sound to them. Us Canadians, heroes who spend ten days in an impoverished country, feeling good about ourselves, and then taking off again. All the bulletins in the foyer from the Canadian NGOs had slogans saying something along the lines of 'Canadians challenging poverty...helping the poorest of the poor...saving the world'. It made me feel a little sad inside.
In fact, this past week has been quite eye opening in the way I view the process of development. Not only in how I perceive it, but in thinking of how those we are 'helping' to develop might perceive it. This will be a big focus of Part 2 of my blog....
I think that's enough for happenings wouldn't you say?
As for a song! I came across this today while doing some research on substance abuse....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFE3140Lhw0. Normally the sound of a saxophone makes me want to throw up. But I love how they've incorporated it into this piece....
Stay tuned for Part 2: Feelings
I'm gonna split this one into two parts I think. So much has happened that one will never suffice.
For the first, I will focus more on happenings as opposed to...feelings...
Our second official week in Camrose was exhausting and more than a little stressful. I am surprised my hair didn't turn all gray....
In order to ensure that we started the program off with a bang, our Canadian supervisor enrolled us in three different community events all of which took place in the same weekend. On top of this, most of us started work placements as well. Thankfully my first week with Sahakarini was very relaxed...but more on this later.
The three events we had to participate in were:
1. Alberta Arts Days: A weekend to showcase Alberta artists of every imaginable kind, and to promote the importance of art and culture in a community.
2. Open Door Bed Race: The fundraiser was held for the Open Door, a local organization that works with youth at risk.
3. Stand Up Take Action: An international campaign aimed to bring awareness about worldwide poverty, to bring attention to the UN's MDGs, and to demand world leaders to take action.
Now, these are all great events to participate in, and I fully support involvement in each...but all of them...in one weekend? So you can see how the week might have been just a little stressful
We did manage to get everything done, though I wasn't quite satisfied with the end results. I feel that due to lack of time, lack of interest from some in the group, and zero energy, we half-assed everything. For those of you who know me, I am not one to half-ass a project, and it was incredibly painful not putting more into the events. But it just was not an option. Not only that...I didn't think it was worth it...which makes me feel even worse....but enough..this was not supposed to be about feelings!
Oh. And on top of that, we were asked to participate in the Sahakarini Hike for Hope which also took place that weekend. Though I was looking forward to the event as it was held at a provincial campsite just outside of town and can be quite a lovely spot. BUT, it was raining...and probably around 5C. So, I spent much of the day with my feet up next to the fire trying to dry my socks and shoes....
The following week was definitely less stressful as I continued work at Sahakarini (I will have a fairly routine schedule from now on). Though there is still a lot I don't know about the organization, I did become somewhat more familiar with it this past week....
Sahakarini is an NGO that puts most others to shame. It operates on a scant budget, with most of its funds going to where financial support is needed. In fact, there is only one paid employee (along with countless volunteers) who just so happens to be my supervisor. Her name is Tiff, and she is quite possibly the most good natured, kind hearted person I have ever met.
Sahakarini works by funneling funds (from provincial/federal sources and the generous public) to partner organizations in the international community that initiate and carry out projects with a focus on the development of women and children. International organizations are chosen, and projects funded, based on Sahakarini's mandate...which I won't get into here...
Anyways. What exactly am I doing with them you might ask? That's a good question...and one I'm in the process of answering myself. Our (my work CP and I) main job is to work on Public Engagement. We are to research the existing projects and underlying issues and write articles both for the organization's newsletters and for local media. We also have the opportunity to help put together a curriculum regarding the organizations work, with which we may be able to present to local schools. We hope to also set up community information sessions where we would have panels made up of local experts selected to speak on a topic of our choice (relating to health, gender and development). There is the potential to do as much (or as little) as we choose. I am definitely going to take advantage of the opportunity I have to work with the organization...and I'm really quite lucky that Tiff is so open to the idea of us taking initiative and exploring whatever avenue we desire. I'm hopeful I'll come away from this having a much clearer picture of what development work (even if it's the office aspect) actually entails.
A typical week in Camrose should follow a similar format for the remainder of our time here...
We work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and have Community Activity Days (CAD) on Tuesdays and Educational Activity Days (EAD) on Thursdays. I would love to tell you what a CAD is, but so far we've only had one and it was a bit of a disaster. Following our stressful weekend we were told it would be a day of relaxation where we would watch a relevant and thought provoking movie and perhaps play a game of soccer or something afterwards. We ended up watching 'Shake Hands With the Devil'. Don't know if you're familiar with Romeo Dallaire, or have seen the movie...but it's not one you can watch and not have an intense conversation about afterwards. However, not everyone was of the same mindset. Half of us wanted to talk about it...the other half...had nothing to say. How could you NOT have anything to say about one group of people exterminating another? They said it was not relevant....or that it wasn't fit for a day of relaxation. I was pissed. If the purpose was to meet at 9am to watch 'Enchanted' or something ridiculous, I would have slept in. But again...this blog wasn't supposed to be about feelings...
One other thing that happened this past week. We were all invited to go see Stephen Lewis speak at the University of Alberta in Edmonton. The guy has his own foundation...you can check it out here: http://www.stephenlewisfoundation.org/
It ended up that only 9 of us could go (which caused more grief), but I was one of the lucky few chosen. Anyways. The guy is apparently some big shot. A former politician, CBC broadcaster, UN ambassador, and now a huge advocate for women's empowerment and the eradication of HIV/AIDS.
I have to say though. Despite all the hype this guy has received and all the work he has done...I was pretty disappointed with the talk. I know I can't make any judgement after a one hour presentation, but still... I was hoping to come away enraged, hopeful, and full of passion. Instead I felt the presentation was very subdued and too safe. I also felt he spent too much time patting the Albertans on the back for all of the wonderful work they've done. I found myself embarrassed by some of the things he was saying...how we Canadians are changing the world and saving those in need. I kept thinking what the South African girls might be thinking...and how ridiculous this might sound to them. Us Canadians, heroes who spend ten days in an impoverished country, feeling good about ourselves, and then taking off again. All the bulletins in the foyer from the Canadian NGOs had slogans saying something along the lines of 'Canadians challenging poverty...helping the poorest of the poor...saving the world'. It made me feel a little sad inside.
In fact, this past week has been quite eye opening in the way I view the process of development. Not only in how I perceive it, but in thinking of how those we are 'helping' to develop might perceive it. This will be a big focus of Part 2 of my blog....
I think that's enough for happenings wouldn't you say?
As for a song! I came across this today while doing some research on substance abuse....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFE3140Lhw0. Normally the sound of a saxophone makes me want to throw up. But I love how they've incorporated it into this piece....
Stay tuned for Part 2: Feelings
Sunday, September 12, 2010
And The Road Ahead
It's amazing how relative time really is. The period of time that had passed, from the moment I learnt I was going on this trip to when I actually left for it, flew by without me noticing. On the other hand, these past two weeks have felt like an eternity.
We arrived in Camrose the Friday before last (Sept.3). After the group performed our rather beautiful song for everyone, my CP and I met some of our host family and they took us to what will be our home for the next 10(ish) weeks. Let me introduce the family to you:
1. Rod is my host dad. He is a social worker who, from what I understand, works closely with adults with disabilities, and makes sure that they are receiving proper government aid and anything else they might require. He loves the outdoors. In the winter he will dig holes in the snow and sleep in them. Like myself, he is an introvert, listens more than speaks, but has a lot to share.
2. Kathy is my host mom. And what a mom she is! From the moment I met her, she made me feel like I was already part of the family. I don't think I have ever met such a genuinely welcoming person. Kathy reminds me a bit of my dad. You could pick any topic that you wished, and she would surely have something to say about it. Like Rod, she has such a heart for those with disabilities, and has been working in various jobs with people having physical or mental limitations. She loves to talk, laugh, dissect movies, and is very well read.
3. Neil is my host brother and the oldest of the three children. He is quite possibly the smartest 20 year old I've met. He's read more books than I will in my life time, and can carry a conversation better than most adults I know. Diagnosed with muscular dystrophy early on, Neil has been in a wheel chair for majority of his life. Despite this, he's quite ambitious, and is currently taking film classes and is in the middle of preparing a story board for a comic book.
4. Tamara is in the middle. She's 16 and has just had her wisdom teeth taken out. I remember what I was like at 16, or remember stories of what I was like at that age anyways...and I think my parents would have lost a lot less hair had I been more like her. Like her brother she is very well read, intelligent, and has a lot to say. She is quite involved with Scouts and her church, and, honestly, seems so much older than what she is.
5. Elsye is the youngest at 13. She is the sweetest thing, and has done quite a lot to make me feel at home. I have never heard her talk back to her parents (or any of the kids really). She's quite thoughtful, also very intelligent (runs in the family), and has kindly been my tour guide around the city. Makes me wish I had a younger sister...or makes me wonder that I should have been a better younger sister....
Anyways, there you have it. My host family. I didn't mean to go on as much as I did, but there's just so much to say about them. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have been placed where I was. Without a doubt they have been instrumental in keeping me sane over my first week in Camrose. It's nice to have this home away from home....
Moving on! So you've heard about my host family, now onto the program.
All this week, the girls have been meeting up from 9-5ish to discuss, plan, organize, quarrel, and discuss some more. Each day has been incredibly exhausting. We've been going over guidelines of the program, what is expected of us as volunteers, what to expect from work placements, etc. We had different speakers come in from the community to talk about sexual health, sustainability/environment, different organizations, and so on. Though we're having all this information given to us, I can't help but feel this program is slightly chaotic and incredibly spontaneous. Sometimes we have no idea what's going on until the hour before it happens....but I'm accepting that that is part of the nature of this program. We have to be incredibly flexible and dynamic, two qualities that are very new to me, but, I guess, are useful to have.
I'll mention two highlights of the program from this week just so you have an idea of what I've done so far.
The first was that on Wednesday we participated in our first community event. It was an International Dessert night for World Literacy Day. Now as part of the evening, we were to bake desserts specific to our background/culture and along with it write out the recipe (in English and home language) as well as a description about yourself and why you were attending that event. Though I wouldn't have given this request for a recipe/description second thought, some in the group brought up an interesting, and very valid, point. If this is for a literacy group that targets those who cannot read or write...why would you ask them to write out a recipe in a language that is not their first, along with the description? It does seem counterintuitive...and if anything would only alienate those they sought to target....
Besides that fact we went anyways. Don't think we had much choice though. As a group, we baked four desserts...two Canadian, two South African. The baking part was probably my favorite. I worked with some South African girls to make a trifle...which sadly, did not work according to plan, as the jello did not set in time. We compensated with the custard though, so it wasn't a complete loss! The actual dessert evening was so so. There wasn't much of a turn out, and if our group of 20 hadn't shown up the room would have been quite empty. I did get to meet some locals however, and I was glad to see that, though few, I (and the others on the CWY team) wasn't the only minority in town!
Second highlight, though at the time it felt like more of a lowlight, was selection of the work placements. Throughout the week we have had several activities or discussions that have required group decisions. Now picture 18 girls in one room. 18 girls from 18 different parts of the world, with 18 very different personalities, opinions, and histories.... This makes for some very difficult decision making. I don't think I have ever experienced as much frustration, helplessness, and annoyance as I have in this week.... Well, I probably have, but the fact that these feelings have been compounding day after day just makes it all seem worse than it really has to be.... Anyways. I was talking about the work placements. It was a very stressful hour. I ended up choosing as my first preference, the placement that five other Canadian girls also wanted. In the end, by some miracle, I wound up getting the placement. I do feel guilty that others got shafted in the process....and I wonder now if it was worth holding on to? People seemed OK (though slightly drained) after the whole ordeal was over though.
My placement is with an NGO called Sahakarini. The organization works with partners in developing countries to help them build and develop projects in education, health, etc. They focus on programs that are self-sustainable, and have contributed to different projects in Africa, Asia and South America. Here is the organization's website: http://www.sahakarini.org/index.htm.
I will definitely be filling you in on what I will be doing more next week when I start the job. I am very excited though....from what I heard about the organization and what they stood for, it lines up very well with what I was hoping to get involved with.
Well. I guess these are brief snapshots of little portions of my week. In a way I feel that this blog is serving as my own, incredibly inadequate, means of recording the entire process... I really wish I could say more but there is so much to say and I don't have the time nor patience to do so. Because of this, I also feel that I am limiting the whole experience in a way, and giving only one portion of this story. This blog will never suffice, but perhaps that is a good thing?
Anyways. Here is my song for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYIqL9HUZu4
I loved this song back in the day....I remember it was my summer anthem a few years back. I would drive around late at night and listen to the song over and over and over again. I'm not sure what led me to it again. You'll probably find the song incredibly depressing, but I find it incredibly beautiful. Have you ever come across a song that, upon listening to it, has reached it's ghost of a hand inside you, taken grasp of your heart and transferred some form of it's emotion to you? I feel that when I listen to this song. Though, watching the video gives it a whole new dimension. There's something about that little ghost that just breaks my heart....
Anyways, I think that is enough for now....
I still miss my old life, but I'm also enjoying this new way of living.
Until next time...
We arrived in Camrose the Friday before last (Sept.3). After the group performed our rather beautiful song for everyone, my CP and I met some of our host family and they took us to what will be our home for the next 10(ish) weeks. Let me introduce the family to you:
1. Rod is my host dad. He is a social worker who, from what I understand, works closely with adults with disabilities, and makes sure that they are receiving proper government aid and anything else they might require. He loves the outdoors. In the winter he will dig holes in the snow and sleep in them. Like myself, he is an introvert, listens more than speaks, but has a lot to share.
2. Kathy is my host mom. And what a mom she is! From the moment I met her, she made me feel like I was already part of the family. I don't think I have ever met such a genuinely welcoming person. Kathy reminds me a bit of my dad. You could pick any topic that you wished, and she would surely have something to say about it. Like Rod, she has such a heart for those with disabilities, and has been working in various jobs with people having physical or mental limitations. She loves to talk, laugh, dissect movies, and is very well read.
3. Neil is my host brother and the oldest of the three children. He is quite possibly the smartest 20 year old I've met. He's read more books than I will in my life time, and can carry a conversation better than most adults I know. Diagnosed with muscular dystrophy early on, Neil has been in a wheel chair for majority of his life. Despite this, he's quite ambitious, and is currently taking film classes and is in the middle of preparing a story board for a comic book.
4. Tamara is in the middle. She's 16 and has just had her wisdom teeth taken out. I remember what I was like at 16, or remember stories of what I was like at that age anyways...and I think my parents would have lost a lot less hair had I been more like her. Like her brother she is very well read, intelligent, and has a lot to say. She is quite involved with Scouts and her church, and, honestly, seems so much older than what she is.
5. Elsye is the youngest at 13. She is the sweetest thing, and has done quite a lot to make me feel at home. I have never heard her talk back to her parents (or any of the kids really). She's quite thoughtful, also very intelligent (runs in the family), and has kindly been my tour guide around the city. Makes me wish I had a younger sister...or makes me wonder that I should have been a better younger sister....
Anyways, there you have it. My host family. I didn't mean to go on as much as I did, but there's just so much to say about them. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have been placed where I was. Without a doubt they have been instrumental in keeping me sane over my first week in Camrose. It's nice to have this home away from home....
Moving on! So you've heard about my host family, now onto the program.
All this week, the girls have been meeting up from 9-5ish to discuss, plan, organize, quarrel, and discuss some more. Each day has been incredibly exhausting. We've been going over guidelines of the program, what is expected of us as volunteers, what to expect from work placements, etc. We had different speakers come in from the community to talk about sexual health, sustainability/environment, different organizations, and so on. Though we're having all this information given to us, I can't help but feel this program is slightly chaotic and incredibly spontaneous. Sometimes we have no idea what's going on until the hour before it happens....but I'm accepting that that is part of the nature of this program. We have to be incredibly flexible and dynamic, two qualities that are very new to me, but, I guess, are useful to have.
I'll mention two highlights of the program from this week just so you have an idea of what I've done so far.
The first was that on Wednesday we participated in our first community event. It was an International Dessert night for World Literacy Day. Now as part of the evening, we were to bake desserts specific to our background/culture and along with it write out the recipe (in English and home language) as well as a description about yourself and why you were attending that event. Though I wouldn't have given this request for a recipe/description second thought, some in the group brought up an interesting, and very valid, point. If this is for a literacy group that targets those who cannot read or write...why would you ask them to write out a recipe in a language that is not their first, along with the description? It does seem counterintuitive...and if anything would only alienate those they sought to target....
Besides that fact we went anyways. Don't think we had much choice though. As a group, we baked four desserts...two Canadian, two South African. The baking part was probably my favorite. I worked with some South African girls to make a trifle...which sadly, did not work according to plan, as the jello did not set in time. We compensated with the custard though, so it wasn't a complete loss! The actual dessert evening was so so. There wasn't much of a turn out, and if our group of 20 hadn't shown up the room would have been quite empty. I did get to meet some locals however, and I was glad to see that, though few, I (and the others on the CWY team) wasn't the only minority in town!
Second highlight, though at the time it felt like more of a lowlight, was selection of the work placements. Throughout the week we have had several activities or discussions that have required group decisions. Now picture 18 girls in one room. 18 girls from 18 different parts of the world, with 18 very different personalities, opinions, and histories.... This makes for some very difficult decision making. I don't think I have ever experienced as much frustration, helplessness, and annoyance as I have in this week.... Well, I probably have, but the fact that these feelings have been compounding day after day just makes it all seem worse than it really has to be.... Anyways. I was talking about the work placements. It was a very stressful hour. I ended up choosing as my first preference, the placement that five other Canadian girls also wanted. In the end, by some miracle, I wound up getting the placement. I do feel guilty that others got shafted in the process....and I wonder now if it was worth holding on to? People seemed OK (though slightly drained) after the whole ordeal was over though.
My placement is with an NGO called Sahakarini. The organization works with partners in developing countries to help them build and develop projects in education, health, etc. They focus on programs that are self-sustainable, and have contributed to different projects in Africa, Asia and South America. Here is the organization's website: http://www.sahakarini.org/index.htm.
I will definitely be filling you in on what I will be doing more next week when I start the job. I am very excited though....from what I heard about the organization and what they stood for, it lines up very well with what I was hoping to get involved with.
Well. I guess these are brief snapshots of little portions of my week. In a way I feel that this blog is serving as my own, incredibly inadequate, means of recording the entire process... I really wish I could say more but there is so much to say and I don't have the time nor patience to do so. Because of this, I also feel that I am limiting the whole experience in a way, and giving only one portion of this story. This blog will never suffice, but perhaps that is a good thing?
Anyways. Here is my song for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYIqL9HUZu4
I loved this song back in the day....I remember it was my summer anthem a few years back. I would drive around late at night and listen to the song over and over and over again. I'm not sure what led me to it again. You'll probably find the song incredibly depressing, but I find it incredibly beautiful. Have you ever come across a song that, upon listening to it, has reached it's ghost of a hand inside you, taken grasp of your heart and transferred some form of it's emotion to you? I feel that when I listen to this song. Though, watching the video gives it a whole new dimension. There's something about that little ghost that just breaks my heart....
Anyways, I think that is enough for now....
I still miss my old life, but I'm also enjoying this new way of living.
Until next time...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
A Single Story
Just in case anyone was wondering....I am alive...
It would be an understatement to say it was one incredibly overwhelming, yet very enlightening, week. Wait. It hasn't even been a full week. Just five days have gone by. I will try to re-cap what I can.....
Day 1:
I got to the airport too early. I used to like airports. I'm not so sure that's the case anymore. Maybe it's because what excitement I feel nowadays is overpowered by anxiety. That's besides the point though. The flight was uneventful. I arrived in Calgary, five minutes behind schedule, and proceeded to meet up with the group! It was both good and awkward. Good in that it was nice to put faces to names and to meet both the South African and Canadian girls...awkward in that I was exhausted and really not in the mood to make conversation and start developing relationships with 17 other women....
After about an hour, we along with our 100+ suitcases, were shuttled onto a big yellow school bus and we left for Banff. I don't know about you, but I haven't been on a school bus since....elementary school maybe? Anyways. We got to Banff at around 5ish, and after visiting Bow Falls and the Hot Springs, we went to the YWCA hostel, which is where we would be staying until Friday. We spent the evening in a group session. To be honest with you. I cannot for the life of me remember what the session was about. There were probably introductions thrown in there somewhere...along with group discussions...but as I said. I was exhausted. We ended up being split into two rooms. 18 females...in two rooms? It was insanity. So that's about the gist of Monday. Abbotsford to Calgary, Calgary to Banff, Banff to bed.
Day 2:
Tuesday we spent the majority of the day doing group activities. From breakfast till about dinner, we would meet and discuss certain issues pertaining to our program. I don't remember all of it, but some stuff really stuck out. The major topics of discussion were surrounding culture, stereotyping, and so on. These are all things I thought I had a pretty good grasp on. I'm well traveled. I've lived in other countries. I like to think I am a very open minded person and accepting of others. But after the session I wasn't so sure....
I won't go into all the details, but I will highlight one particular topic that stuck with me. We watched a Ted 'Talks' video of Chimamanda Adichie called: The Danger of a Single Story.
Here's the link: http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html
I recommend that you watch it if you have 20 minutes to spare....
To summarize the talk, the speaker discusses how we have a very innocent, yet dangerous, tendency to form and hold on to a single story about another person/people. I have a confession. Before coming on this trip, I too believed a single story about Africa...one almost exactly as the speaker describes, as a land of 'incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to fight for themselves, and waiting to be saved'. I don't think I could describe my image of Africa any better than she did....and the sad thing is, I wanted to be the one to do the saving. This is how I pictured Africa...a continent with 54 countries in it...all with very different histories, people and culture....54 countries... But, this is the Africa that I've been imagining for the past 20+ years of my life...and I'm sure it's the Africa that many others have seen, and believed, as well.
Chimamanda goes on to say that these single stories that we may hear or see, creates stereotypes which aren't 'untrue', but 'incomplete': 'They make one story become the only story'. Though this seems pretty obvious when you think about it, it's makes me feel more than a little foolish for having believed this one story all this time...without looking for all those other parts.
Anyways. The point of all that was that I learnt something worth sharing. It really made me think of all the other people I've formed single stories of. I never once thought that by me, believing that one story, I would be robbing that person of their dignity...or dehumanizing them. Nobody deserves, nor has, a single story.
Also, the more I interacted with the South Africans, the more I was learning other parts of the story...at least for those 9 girls. So I'm happy to say that my story of Africa (or at least South Africa) is starting to gain more depth and dimension.
Day 3: (i'll make it quick)
Today we spent more time in workshops doing more group discussions, and we also did a tour of the Banff Hospital. This was more enlightening for the South Africans as the Canadian Health system is completely different from their own. It was interesting for me though to see what 'rural' Canadian medicine might potentially look like. Mind you, I don't know if you can call a wealthy, tourist town like Banff rural....
Day 4:
Again. The first half of the day was spent doing group discussions and learning more about the specifics of the program. The highlight of the day, and the moment I think everyone was waiting anxiously for, was that our Counterparts (CP) were chosen that night. Our CP is the South African who will partner with us for the next six months. Together, my CP and I will be living with the same host family.....we're supposed to act as a main source of support for each other as we adapt in each community.
In the end, our CP were selected 'randomly' by the staff. I ended up being partnered with someone I wouldn't have chosen at all if I had selected myself. At first I was disappointed....and more than a little scared. We didn't connect at all, and there were huge cultural obstacles to overcome (especially when communicating)....and the first thought that came to my head was, 'How am I going to get through these next six months?'. But then I think about what I just learnt the day before. I've clearly formed a single story. I don't even know her...how can I say after just a couple days, that this is going to be a disaster? Who knows how things will turn out. This will definitely be a learning experience...and perhaps I will learn more from this relationship than if I had been paired up with any one else!
Day 5: (today)
So. I'm going to make this quick cause, once again, I'm staying up way past when I should be...
This morning we left the hostel and got back on the yellow bus to leave for Camrose. Along the way we stopped in two places. The first was Lake Louise. Wow. Not much else I can add to that. It's spots like these that remind me there is NO other place I would want to live (permanently) than here. I know Banff is in Alberta...but it's close enough! We continued on to another lake and look out...the name of which is escaping me. The lake was formed by this particular glacier, and the colour of the water was the most brilliant, almost majestic, turquoise colour I have ever seen. Pictures will never do these beauties justice. I will post some eventually though.
Anyways. On the bus ride to Camrose, as a group, we wrote a song (with me on guitar) to perform for our host families upon arrival. It went well! I was a little doubtful it would turn out..but it did. Someone recorded us at one point...I'll see if I can post that another time....
Then we had a picnic in the park with all the host families, after which my CP and I were on our way to our new home....which leads me to where I am now...
I will describe in detail later. There is much to say, but for now all I can think of is sleep.
But before I do that. Here is a song for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DUCKGyojpE&NR=1&feature=fvwp
It's by Trentemoller, a Danish electronic musician. The song's called 'Miss You'. It sums up how I feel right now. I miss you. I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I am missing a whole lot right now.
Good night for now!
It would be an understatement to say it was one incredibly overwhelming, yet very enlightening, week. Wait. It hasn't even been a full week. Just five days have gone by. I will try to re-cap what I can.....
Day 1:
I got to the airport too early. I used to like airports. I'm not so sure that's the case anymore. Maybe it's because what excitement I feel nowadays is overpowered by anxiety. That's besides the point though. The flight was uneventful. I arrived in Calgary, five minutes behind schedule, and proceeded to meet up with the group! It was both good and awkward. Good in that it was nice to put faces to names and to meet both the South African and Canadian girls...awkward in that I was exhausted and really not in the mood to make conversation and start developing relationships with 17 other women....
After about an hour, we along with our 100+ suitcases, were shuttled onto a big yellow school bus and we left for Banff. I don't know about you, but I haven't been on a school bus since....elementary school maybe? Anyways. We got to Banff at around 5ish, and after visiting Bow Falls and the Hot Springs, we went to the YWCA hostel, which is where we would be staying until Friday. We spent the evening in a group session. To be honest with you. I cannot for the life of me remember what the session was about. There were probably introductions thrown in there somewhere...along with group discussions...but as I said. I was exhausted. We ended up being split into two rooms. 18 females...in two rooms? It was insanity. So that's about the gist of Monday. Abbotsford to Calgary, Calgary to Banff, Banff to bed.
Day 2:
Tuesday we spent the majority of the day doing group activities. From breakfast till about dinner, we would meet and discuss certain issues pertaining to our program. I don't remember all of it, but some stuff really stuck out. The major topics of discussion were surrounding culture, stereotyping, and so on. These are all things I thought I had a pretty good grasp on. I'm well traveled. I've lived in other countries. I like to think I am a very open minded person and accepting of others. But after the session I wasn't so sure....
I won't go into all the details, but I will highlight one particular topic that stuck with me. We watched a Ted 'Talks' video of Chimamanda Adichie called: The Danger of a Single Story.
Here's the link: http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html
I recommend that you watch it if you have 20 minutes to spare....
To summarize the talk, the speaker discusses how we have a very innocent, yet dangerous, tendency to form and hold on to a single story about another person/people. I have a confession. Before coming on this trip, I too believed a single story about Africa...one almost exactly as the speaker describes, as a land of 'incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to fight for themselves, and waiting to be saved'. I don't think I could describe my image of Africa any better than she did....and the sad thing is, I wanted to be the one to do the saving. This is how I pictured Africa...a continent with 54 countries in it...all with very different histories, people and culture....54 countries... But, this is the Africa that I've been imagining for the past 20+ years of my life...and I'm sure it's the Africa that many others have seen, and believed, as well.
Chimamanda goes on to say that these single stories that we may hear or see, creates stereotypes which aren't 'untrue', but 'incomplete': 'They make one story become the only story'. Though this seems pretty obvious when you think about it, it's makes me feel more than a little foolish for having believed this one story all this time...without looking for all those other parts.
Anyways. The point of all that was that I learnt something worth sharing. It really made me think of all the other people I've formed single stories of. I never once thought that by me, believing that one story, I would be robbing that person of their dignity...or dehumanizing them. Nobody deserves, nor has, a single story.
Also, the more I interacted with the South Africans, the more I was learning other parts of the story...at least for those 9 girls. So I'm happy to say that my story of Africa (or at least South Africa) is starting to gain more depth and dimension.
Day 3: (i'll make it quick)
Today we spent more time in workshops doing more group discussions, and we also did a tour of the Banff Hospital. This was more enlightening for the South Africans as the Canadian Health system is completely different from their own. It was interesting for me though to see what 'rural' Canadian medicine might potentially look like. Mind you, I don't know if you can call a wealthy, tourist town like Banff rural....
Day 4:
Again. The first half of the day was spent doing group discussions and learning more about the specifics of the program. The highlight of the day, and the moment I think everyone was waiting anxiously for, was that our Counterparts (CP) were chosen that night. Our CP is the South African who will partner with us for the next six months. Together, my CP and I will be living with the same host family.....we're supposed to act as a main source of support for each other as we adapt in each community.
In the end, our CP were selected 'randomly' by the staff. I ended up being partnered with someone I wouldn't have chosen at all if I had selected myself. At first I was disappointed....and more than a little scared. We didn't connect at all, and there were huge cultural obstacles to overcome (especially when communicating)....and the first thought that came to my head was, 'How am I going to get through these next six months?'. But then I think about what I just learnt the day before. I've clearly formed a single story. I don't even know her...how can I say after just a couple days, that this is going to be a disaster? Who knows how things will turn out. This will definitely be a learning experience...and perhaps I will learn more from this relationship than if I had been paired up with any one else!
Day 5: (today)
So. I'm going to make this quick cause, once again, I'm staying up way past when I should be...
This morning we left the hostel and got back on the yellow bus to leave for Camrose. Along the way we stopped in two places. The first was Lake Louise. Wow. Not much else I can add to that. It's spots like these that remind me there is NO other place I would want to live (permanently) than here. I know Banff is in Alberta...but it's close enough! We continued on to another lake and look out...the name of which is escaping me. The lake was formed by this particular glacier, and the colour of the water was the most brilliant, almost majestic, turquoise colour I have ever seen. Pictures will never do these beauties justice. I will post some eventually though.
Anyways. On the bus ride to Camrose, as a group, we wrote a song (with me on guitar) to perform for our host families upon arrival. It went well! I was a little doubtful it would turn out..but it did. Someone recorded us at one point...I'll see if I can post that another time....
Then we had a picnic in the park with all the host families, after which my CP and I were on our way to our new home....which leads me to where I am now...
I will describe in detail later. There is much to say, but for now all I can think of is sleep.
But before I do that. Here is a song for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DUCKGyojpE&NR=1&feature=fvwp
It's by Trentemoller, a Danish electronic musician. The song's called 'Miss You'. It sums up how I feel right now. I miss you. I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I am missing a whole lot right now.
Good night for now!
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