Hello.
This blog is going pick up somewhat from where the last one left off....
The pessimist that I am, I did end that posting on a hopeless note...but, I've neglected to include those moments of light...those soul lifting experiences that happen to come at just the right time. So let this blog be a tribute to just that.
Early in January, I experienced what was probably my lowest point during this entire program. I don't know if I can pinpoint any one specific moment, it was more a culmination of many things that lead to a breaking point. This breaking point occurred on one beautiful day when I went to the beach with some people I had just met. These people all happened to be white (a distinction I find you have to make here in South Africa) and the beach we went to was paradise. On the slopes leading up to the beach were situated breath taking mansions and, coincidentally, almost everyone present was white...with the exception of myself and a couple blacks and coloureds. I had never felt as self conscious as I did at that point. Though obvious, it was still very unsettling to be hit with the realization that I was dark skinned. I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin... It's an awful feeling that, because unlike other characteristics/traits that you can work at and improve, nothing you can ever do will change the colour you are.
This lead me to a very strange thought process. I went from being uncomfortable in my own skin to feeling that I truly was inferior because of the colour I was. I began to look at white people here and wonder if they would just over look me...not even take the time to get to know the person beneath the skin. And THEN, I started thinking about people back home and how they viewed me. I even went so far as to question the people I know (and love), and wonder if they think of me any less or look at me differently because of my appearance. I have had some similar moments, especially in elementary and high school, where I did feel inferior because of my colour. But I've long since grown out of that, or so I thought, and often forget that I am 'brown'.
I used to pride myself on the fact that I have friends that are every colour of the rainbow and from all corners of the world. Back home, colour does not stop me from getting to know an individual. But this thought process I speak about, it has caused a shift in the way I view the world. I will not be returning to Canada the same person. I know it exists, but I think I will constantly be on the look out for this silent racism, or colour typing, back home. It's amazing what South Africa does to a person...as someone told me here, it's almost a 'loss of innocence' that occurs...that, or is it naivety?
But, this is supposed to be an uplifting blog! Mind you, I do I have to put my experience into perspective so you can understand the full impact of the positive moments I've had. The day that I came into the city, specifically to go to church, and where I ended up meeting this guy and having a wonderful conversation, I also stumbled across a little piece of heaven in the form of a cafe. I was walking around looking for a place to sit, read, and think, but all the cafes I came across were closed except for one hidden in a crypt in St. George's Anglican Church (former home of Archbishop E. Desmond Tutu). As soon as I walked in I was greeted by a beautiful arched ceiling, candlelit space, and Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons'. I sat down, ordered my tea and felt immediately at peace. The server, whose name happens to be Sandra, noticed I wasn't from around here and starting making small talk. As soon as she realized I was living in Khayelitsha her face lit up and she told me about this NGO (Empilweni) she runs in the township, the only one that provides services of counseling to victims of physical and emotional abuse. She became even more excited when I knew exactly which organization she was referring too.
She sat down with me then and we got to talking. Turns out this woman had been a huge activist against the apartheid regime, working under Desmond himself, and has since continued her activism in various forms. She helped found the famous District 6 Museum, runs this Mental Health centre in Khayelitsha along with another street kid program in Cape Town, AND she runs the beautiful cafe at St. Georges. To add to her resume, the work she did in the past with the psychology behind those dealing with HIV/AIDS, lead her to research and define what 'stigma' actually meant...the definition she came up with, eventually taken up by the World Health Organization. Clearly this woman has quite a heart for the people, and does more than just talk about it....I could see the immense amount of passion she has for the people of this country, especially for those who are hurting.
Anyways. Talking with her was something like a spiritual experience in itself. She listened to my frustrations and understood my incomprehension. It was incredibly refreshing to see that there was someone from here so disturbed by the state of everything...not only that, she has devoted her entire life to doing something about it. She listened to everything I had to say, and made me feel like I wasn't crazy in feeling so unsettled by my experience. She spoke alot about the mental/emotional damage that was caused by the apartheid, the effects of which have become so ingrained in the people' s minds that it's become their very nature. This feeling of inferiority based on colour is something that won't go away easily, not within the current generations anyway. She also mentioned this process of 'black consciousness' that every black South African has to go through, and that there are two routes that this process can take. One leads to bitterness, anger, and denial while the other leads to acceptance and healing.
I have seen these routes played out in my group...and it has not been easy being a 'non-black' bystander. It's almost as though because I am not dark enough, I have no say in this process, have no right to play the victim and claim hurt, and will never understand what it is they've experience. True, I cannot claim to fully understand, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I don't want to. In a way I feel as though this inferiority is self perpetuated by those that are 'inferior'. As I mentioned before, the cycle will continue until the people themselves decide they want to stop it... However, if three months of being in South Africa had this much of a psychological impact...I can only imagine what it would be like for someone who has gone through this their entire life... Perhaps they can't just stop the cycle...they need healing. But, how they're going to get that and when? God only knows.
Anyways. Sandra has been a bit of a saving grace for me...she arrived at just the right time. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without her. Over the past few weeks she has helped me with this rather difficult process of learning, change, and acceptance. I believe, with all my heart, that she was placed in my life for a very specific purpose...meeting her was anything but coincidence. Not only that, but I have been attending this church in Town for over a month now and have become quite attached. I have NEVER felt so in tune with a church before...though it has everything to do with the pastor. He is without a doubt the most rational, intellectual, simple, and sensible religious speaker I have ever heard. I have yet to disagree with anything he's said, a lot of which I never expected to hear in a church service. I almost feel that every service I've attended has been thought out and written specifically for me...it's incredible really. Here is the link to the Sunday sermons...I recommend you give one of them a listen if you have the time (if you don't, make time): http://www.cmm.org.za/?page_id=190
I'm actually finishing up this blog immediately after having met with the pastor and having a far too short talk with him. I have been wanting to speak with him since I first walked into that church back in December. Let's just say that that conversation (and the past 1.5 months) has restored my faith in...my faith. I will have to make what he said (along with my thoughts) into another blog entirely but, I can't remember the last time I have felt so at peace with God... I've also lately been strongly reminded of the connection between my relationship with God and how alive I feel. I have never, and will never, be able to deny that link. I'm incredibly thankful to be aware of it too.
It's funny how I had to come all the way to South Africa to undergo this personal/spiritual/mental transformation. I guess that's usually how it works though, isn't it? I never would have learnt any of what I have here back home in Canada. How could I when I'm kept to busy to actually think about things, and when I surround myself with only that which gives me comfort. I believe that's why I left in the first place. I get restless easily, and so tired of being comfortable...back to this whole 'lingering nomad' bit... I was so desperate for a way out of that...for something to force me to change and be challenged. Well, I think it's safe to say that signing up for this program was definitely challenging....
So. Here it is. A song, a duet actually. One of the most beautiful combination of voices I have ever heard. It find this one especially healing...so the perfect fit for how I am feeling at the moment.
I leave for Canada this Friday. So...this is probably the last blog I will write in South Africa. I'll have to do a a final one upon my return...a debrief entry.
I guess I will be seeing you (some of you anyways) very soon....
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Process of Unsettlement
Hello again,
I have been alluding to this topic for quite some time now, but wasn't quite sure how to go about discussing it. Ever since I set foot in this country, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Perhaps the reason I haven't been able to turn my thoughts into words is because of the amount of processing needed to make sense of any of it...
I had an enlightening moment the other week. Not necessarily one that sheds light on these thoughts exactly, but it certainly made me feel a bit better. But before I go into that let me back up a bit...
When I first arrived, I mentioned how everything I saw was incredibly overwhelming. How, driving from the airport to our orientation campsite, we past many informal settlements that were filled to overflowing with shacks, while beautiful mansions stood in neighbouring communities. Though it's been over 1.5 months since I've been here, going from big cities to townships and back again gives me a shock each and every time...
It's strange really. Going from Khayelitsha to Cape Town city is like going from one country to another...from the third world to the first. And the majority of those in the city centre are white...or middle class blacks/coloureds. I have yet to see a white person that lives in a township, or who isn't in the middle class. And those taxis that I mentioned before...the ones I have grown rather fond of...you would never see a white person in one of those either. Such ways of living (townships, beat up taxis, side market stalls, labour jobs) are reserved for the blacks and coloureds.
I cannot fathom how people are able to live in these five story mansions situated on the most beautiful of beaches (check out Sea Point/Camps Bay area) and not feel just a little sick on the inside. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but in my very ignorant opinion, it's not right. Not only that, almost all of these wealthy still have 'domestic workers'...or what I would call servants. And they, of course, are all black.
What bothered me most though was the complacency that I find in most everyone I meet here. Black, coloured, white...it doesn't matter, I don't see people disturbed by any of this. It's as though everyone is thinking 'Things are the way they are...what am I to do about any of it?' Don't get me wrong. There are countless organizations with people working for them, who have dedicated their lives to reversing the damages of oppression and class segregation....but if the people themselves don't move themselves to take the first step, then is anything really going to change? I am a pessimist through and through. And living here has shaken me to the core...honestly, alot of the time, I feel as though South Africa is a lost cause.
I would have to be completely ignorant if I were to go on about how unjust were in South Africa, without acknowledging the root causes. It took years of systematic work to bring apartheid to the country...but it will take countless more to reverse it. The country is founded so solidly in this segregation...it wouldn't run at all if things were overturned in one day. I met a guy last week, which is where my enlightening begins, who was able to dialogue with me about these very things. Not only was he a white South African, he was also incredibly informed about the history of his country and the measures that are being taken now to move past that history.
What was interesting to me was to hear from the other side. For weeks now I have been inundated with the black perspective...I didn't stop to think that there was another side. He agreed that the state of things is unjust, and doesn't deny the fact that 'white'=wealth and 'black'=poverty. But the apartheid wasn't something wanted by majority, and it was thanks to a collective stand from all kinds of people that it came to an end. He explained how as whites are in this economically advantaged position, their taxes must provide for the rest of the country. However, they don't have the advantage in numbers, so they don't have a say in how those taxes are used. And it is a well accepted fact that there will only ever be a black leader in this country from now on. He explained that the ANC (African National Congress), are voted in again and again, because of the work that they did under Mandela. However, things have only gone downhill since that time. Education is failing, health care is a joke, and the numbers of those living in informal settlements is on the rise. The ANC is very good at talking, making a lot of promises, and reminding the people of the times of old. However they don't follow up with any of those promises. Still the majority votes for them. And they will continue to vote for them regardless of if another party would serve the country better...
There's actually an election next week. And in talking with the South African girls about who they were voting for and why, what was told to me was verified. Without a moment's hesitation, the girls told me they were voting for the ANC. Why? Because 1) it's in the family 2) Nelson Mandela 3) they will always be loyal to them 4) the other parties don't support blacks (?). When I asked them who the provincial representative was for the ANC, however, they couldn't reply. It's completely beyond me...makes me a little sick actually.
To me it sounds as though, because of the people's pride (not to mention a lot of hurt), the country will never get out of this mess. They would rather stay loyal to the ANC then let a white person in power. This guy went on to say that though he believes there should be redistribution of wealth and that a majority need support to move forward, change will only come when the people themselves decide to do something about it. Perhaps a government is only as corrupt as the people allow it to be. He isn't allowed to voice his complaints, however, because they are 'elitist concerns' (his words not mine). But then who's to say one's suffering is greater than another's?
I did feel a little sorry for him in the end. Though he is benefiting from white privilege, it seems his life is a rather suffocating one. First, though he contributes financially to his country, he has very little say in how it is run. Secondly, he is incredibly educated and aware of the state of his country...but, being white, does not have much power to do something about it. Last, and worse of all, is as he has a South African passport, his options are few when it comes to working/living abroad. To be so aware of how dismal your country is, and to see little hope of change, yet not have the freedom to go somewhere else and make a better life for yourself...I couldn't handle that. Thinking about that...I would rather be uneducated, have little privilege, and not be aware of a different way of living. You don't really know what you're missing in that case...do you? It's probably not right of me to say, but that's what I feel....
Anyways. I should draw this to a close. But not without a song, of course. Here is my current favorite instrumentalist group (by current I mean for over a year): Balmorhea. I was supposed to see them live last year, but they had to cancel. I was absolutely heartbroken. However! They have just released another cd and are off on a west coast tour. I have to trek to Seattle to see them, but I can't think of a better reason to head south than this. I guess this will be part of my re-integration process...
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
Only three weeks left....
I have been alluding to this topic for quite some time now, but wasn't quite sure how to go about discussing it. Ever since I set foot in this country, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Perhaps the reason I haven't been able to turn my thoughts into words is because of the amount of processing needed to make sense of any of it...
I had an enlightening moment the other week. Not necessarily one that sheds light on these thoughts exactly, but it certainly made me feel a bit better. But before I go into that let me back up a bit...
When I first arrived, I mentioned how everything I saw was incredibly overwhelming. How, driving from the airport to our orientation campsite, we past many informal settlements that were filled to overflowing with shacks, while beautiful mansions stood in neighbouring communities. Though it's been over 1.5 months since I've been here, going from big cities to townships and back again gives me a shock each and every time...
It's strange really. Going from Khayelitsha to Cape Town city is like going from one country to another...from the third world to the first. And the majority of those in the city centre are white...or middle class blacks/coloureds. I have yet to see a white person that lives in a township, or who isn't in the middle class. And those taxis that I mentioned before...the ones I have grown rather fond of...you would never see a white person in one of those either. Such ways of living (townships, beat up taxis, side market stalls, labour jobs) are reserved for the blacks and coloureds.
I cannot fathom how people are able to live in these five story mansions situated on the most beautiful of beaches (check out Sea Point/Camps Bay area) and not feel just a little sick on the inside. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but in my very ignorant opinion, it's not right. Not only that, almost all of these wealthy still have 'domestic workers'...or what I would call servants. And they, of course, are all black.
What bothered me most though was the complacency that I find in most everyone I meet here. Black, coloured, white...it doesn't matter, I don't see people disturbed by any of this. It's as though everyone is thinking 'Things are the way they are...what am I to do about any of it?' Don't get me wrong. There are countless organizations with people working for them, who have dedicated their lives to reversing the damages of oppression and class segregation....but if the people themselves don't move themselves to take the first step, then is anything really going to change? I am a pessimist through and through. And living here has shaken me to the core...honestly, alot of the time, I feel as though South Africa is a lost cause.
I would have to be completely ignorant if I were to go on about how unjust were in South Africa, without acknowledging the root causes. It took years of systematic work to bring apartheid to the country...but it will take countless more to reverse it. The country is founded so solidly in this segregation...it wouldn't run at all if things were overturned in one day. I met a guy last week, which is where my enlightening begins, who was able to dialogue with me about these very things. Not only was he a white South African, he was also incredibly informed about the history of his country and the measures that are being taken now to move past that history.
What was interesting to me was to hear from the other side. For weeks now I have been inundated with the black perspective...I didn't stop to think that there was another side. He agreed that the state of things is unjust, and doesn't deny the fact that 'white'=wealth and 'black'=poverty. But the apartheid wasn't something wanted by majority, and it was thanks to a collective stand from all kinds of people that it came to an end. He explained how as whites are in this economically advantaged position, their taxes must provide for the rest of the country. However, they don't have the advantage in numbers, so they don't have a say in how those taxes are used. And it is a well accepted fact that there will only ever be a black leader in this country from now on. He explained that the ANC (African National Congress), are voted in again and again, because of the work that they did under Mandela. However, things have only gone downhill since that time. Education is failing, health care is a joke, and the numbers of those living in informal settlements is on the rise. The ANC is very good at talking, making a lot of promises, and reminding the people of the times of old. However they don't follow up with any of those promises. Still the majority votes for them. And they will continue to vote for them regardless of if another party would serve the country better...
There's actually an election next week. And in talking with the South African girls about who they were voting for and why, what was told to me was verified. Without a moment's hesitation, the girls told me they were voting for the ANC. Why? Because 1) it's in the family 2) Nelson Mandela 3) they will always be loyal to them 4) the other parties don't support blacks (?). When I asked them who the provincial representative was for the ANC, however, they couldn't reply. It's completely beyond me...makes me a little sick actually.
To me it sounds as though, because of the people's pride (not to mention a lot of hurt), the country will never get out of this mess. They would rather stay loyal to the ANC then let a white person in power. This guy went on to say that though he believes there should be redistribution of wealth and that a majority need support to move forward, change will only come when the people themselves decide to do something about it. Perhaps a government is only as corrupt as the people allow it to be. He isn't allowed to voice his complaints, however, because they are 'elitist concerns' (his words not mine). But then who's to say one's suffering is greater than another's?
I did feel a little sorry for him in the end. Though he is benefiting from white privilege, it seems his life is a rather suffocating one. First, though he contributes financially to his country, he has very little say in how it is run. Secondly, he is incredibly educated and aware of the state of his country...but, being white, does not have much power to do something about it. Last, and worse of all, is as he has a South African passport, his options are few when it comes to working/living abroad. To be so aware of how dismal your country is, and to see little hope of change, yet not have the freedom to go somewhere else and make a better life for yourself...I couldn't handle that. Thinking about that...I would rather be uneducated, have little privilege, and not be aware of a different way of living. You don't really know what you're missing in that case...do you? It's probably not right of me to say, but that's what I feel....
Anyways. I should draw this to a close. But not without a song, of course. Here is my current favorite instrumentalist group (by current I mean for over a year): Balmorhea. I was supposed to see them live last year, but they had to cancel. I was absolutely heartbroken. However! They have just released another cd and are off on a west coast tour. I have to trek to Seattle to see them, but I can't think of a better reason to head south than this. I guess this will be part of my re-integration process...
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
Only three weeks left....
Friday, January 7, 2011
One More Thing...
I realized I never posted a song for the last blog. So here it is. It's not a South Africa artist, but she's from the same continent...close enough...
Saw a music video for this song a few weeks back and fell in love.
Just for kicks, I'm also going to post that ridiculously annoying song that plays at least once every hour in every shabeen (bar), store, and taxi in Khayelitsha. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't played so friggin' much.... But at least now you all have a taste of South African 'black' house music.
Enjoy?
Saw a music video for this song a few weeks back and fell in love.
Just for kicks, I'm also going to post that ridiculously annoying song that plays at least once every hour in every shabeen (bar), store, and taxi in Khayelitsha. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't played so friggin' much.... But at least now you all have a taste of South African 'black' house music.
Enjoy?
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Chasing After The Wind
So, once again I am falling behind in my blog updates.
There is so much to say yet I never have any idea how or where to start. On the plus side, I have been writing in my journal more. I think I have a grand total of five entries semi-completed since I've arrived in South Africa!!
As for updates. Life is moving along here in Khayelitsha. Some interesting events that have happened in the past few weeks....
I've had a few unnerving experiences living in this township. There's no escaping the fact that we are outsiders and everyone knows it. I'm not supposed to be going around alone, but sometimes I don't have any other choice. I was leaving the 'mall' which is situated in one of the sketchiest places in Khayelitsha, known as Site B...also an informal settlement, and was stopped by some police. Now, I don't know who I'm more afraid of...thugs..or police. I'm told the cops (especially 'blacks' and 'coloureds') are more corrupt than anyone else. Anyways, they stopped me and started questioning what I was doing outside on my own. I answered briefly and tried to keep going but they just followed me in the car, still questioning me, until one of the cops got out. Not going to lie. I was pretty terrified. He tells me to get in the car...then laughs and says 'Don't worry, we're not going to arrest you'. I didn't really have a choice at this point so I got in and just prayed as they drove off... Thankfully there is little more to report...after hitting on me, they dropped me off right outside my door.
Apparently Herbi and I almost got mugged walking down a main street...once again by Site B. This woman comes up behind us and asks us what we were thinking and didn't we see those guys. Turns out a group of guys were about to rob us, but walked past and got the people a little ways behind us. I had no idea.... She told me God was watching over us. I have to agree with her on that one.
Besides that, I cannot walk anywhere in Khayelitsha without being cat called or followed..that and cars constantly stop and tell us to get in. I think the most important thing for me is acting confident even when I'm not. That and brisk walking seems to help too...
Anyways! Christmas has come and gone. I'm thankful it's over, honestly speaking. It was the one day I was looking forward to least of all. My actual Christmas was uneventful. I did get to talk to my family which was nice...and I did get some calls from friends too. But I just pretended it was any other day....
Christmas Eve on the other hand was wonderful! I spent the day with my favorite person on the African continent...Herbi. I won't go into details, but the day involved a delicious lunch, Harry Potter, a sail boat, and cheese cake. I couldn't have had a better day...and it definitely took our minds off of things for at least a few hours...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of feeling too. One thing I've been lacking in, to the point where I don't feel complete, is my spirituality. It was the same during the Alberta phase...but I've felt that absence much stronger since I've been here. It probably has to do with the fact that I haven't been attending a church...but more importantly I haven't been sharing my spiritual life with anybody since I've been here... It's funny (yet not at all) how I always come back to this point. My life is completely meaningless without my faith, as irrational as that faith might be. And no matter how many arguments I hear, far more sound than my own, that are against my beliefs....nothing else makes sense to me. That and I cannot shake this feeling of being incomplete the more I am lacking in my spiritual life...things just aren't right then...
Anyways. I didn't mean to make this a rant, but my brother recommended I read Ecclesiastes...so that is what I'm doing (very slowly). Thought I would put down some thoughts I had along the way.
'No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are never content'
-Ecclesiastes 1:8b
'I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.'
-Ecclesiastes 1:13-14
I know I'm not the only one in human existence, that has felt these words align so perfectly with my own thoughts...yet I can't help but feel like I am alone in this at the same time. Right now I'm at that point of analyzing my life and what lies ahead of me...and all I can see is how meaningless everything is. What little I've accomplished...all that I want to achieve...what good is it for?
I like to ask questions. I want to know why things are the way they are. Sometimes I think it a curse that I am this way...I can definitely relate to the author when he says no matter what he sees or hears, he's never satisfied.
Another thing I've been frustrated with lately is prayer. Well, not lately...almost my entire life. I'm starting to think that I don't know how to pray at all. My prayers are in the form of thoughts. But, my mind constantly wanders, and before I know it, I'll end up day dreaming instead. I've been asking myself more and more what the reason for prayer is anyways...why do I bother?
I came across this quote in a church in Town...I guess it makes a better attempt at answering the question than I could...
'The world is aflame with evil and atrocity; the scandal of perpetual desecration of the world cries to high heaven. And we, coming face-to-face with it, are either involved as callous participants or, at best, remain indifferent onlookers....
We pray because the disproportion of human misery and human compassion is so enormous. We pray because our grasp of the depth of suffering is comparable to the scope of perception of a butterfly flying over the Grand Canyon. We pray because of the experience of the dreadful incompatibility of how we live and what we sense.'
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
I found that comforting...especially the part about our incompatibility. Maybe I'm not alone in this after all.
It looks as though I'm going to have to leave my thoughts on racial segregation and the wounds of South Africa to another blog...or perhaps I'm going to have to turn that one into a book....
I have six weeks left here. I am not looking forward to leaving this country, yet..I'm also a little tired of it too...
It would seem I'm not satisified no matter where I go!
Until next time...
There is so much to say yet I never have any idea how or where to start. On the plus side, I have been writing in my journal more. I think I have a grand total of five entries semi-completed since I've arrived in South Africa!!
As for updates. Life is moving along here in Khayelitsha. Some interesting events that have happened in the past few weeks....
I've had a few unnerving experiences living in this township. There's no escaping the fact that we are outsiders and everyone knows it. I'm not supposed to be going around alone, but sometimes I don't have any other choice. I was leaving the 'mall' which is situated in one of the sketchiest places in Khayelitsha, known as Site B...also an informal settlement, and was stopped by some police. Now, I don't know who I'm more afraid of...thugs..or police. I'm told the cops (especially 'blacks' and 'coloureds') are more corrupt than anyone else. Anyways, they stopped me and started questioning what I was doing outside on my own. I answered briefly and tried to keep going but they just followed me in the car, still questioning me, until one of the cops got out. Not going to lie. I was pretty terrified. He tells me to get in the car...then laughs and says 'Don't worry, we're not going to arrest you'. I didn't really have a choice at this point so I got in and just prayed as they drove off... Thankfully there is little more to report...after hitting on me, they dropped me off right outside my door.
Apparently Herbi and I almost got mugged walking down a main street...once again by Site B. This woman comes up behind us and asks us what we were thinking and didn't we see those guys. Turns out a group of guys were about to rob us, but walked past and got the people a little ways behind us. I had no idea.... She told me God was watching over us. I have to agree with her on that one.
Besides that, I cannot walk anywhere in Khayelitsha without being cat called or followed..that and cars constantly stop and tell us to get in. I think the most important thing for me is acting confident even when I'm not. That and brisk walking seems to help too...
Anyways! Christmas has come and gone. I'm thankful it's over, honestly speaking. It was the one day I was looking forward to least of all. My actual Christmas was uneventful. I did get to talk to my family which was nice...and I did get some calls from friends too. But I just pretended it was any other day....
Christmas Eve on the other hand was wonderful! I spent the day with my favorite person on the African continent...Herbi. I won't go into details, but the day involved a delicious lunch, Harry Potter, a sail boat, and cheese cake. I couldn't have had a better day...and it definitely took our minds off of things for at least a few hours...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of feeling too. One thing I've been lacking in, to the point where I don't feel complete, is my spirituality. It was the same during the Alberta phase...but I've felt that absence much stronger since I've been here. It probably has to do with the fact that I haven't been attending a church...but more importantly I haven't been sharing my spiritual life with anybody since I've been here... It's funny (yet not at all) how I always come back to this point. My life is completely meaningless without my faith, as irrational as that faith might be. And no matter how many arguments I hear, far more sound than my own, that are against my beliefs....nothing else makes sense to me. That and I cannot shake this feeling of being incomplete the more I am lacking in my spiritual life...things just aren't right then...
Anyways. I didn't mean to make this a rant, but my brother recommended I read Ecclesiastes...so that is what I'm doing (very slowly). Thought I would put down some thoughts I had along the way.
'No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are never content'
-Ecclesiastes 1:8b
'I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.'
-Ecclesiastes 1:13-14
I know I'm not the only one in human existence, that has felt these words align so perfectly with my own thoughts...yet I can't help but feel like I am alone in this at the same time. Right now I'm at that point of analyzing my life and what lies ahead of me...and all I can see is how meaningless everything is. What little I've accomplished...all that I want to achieve...what good is it for?
I like to ask questions. I want to know why things are the way they are. Sometimes I think it a curse that I am this way...I can definitely relate to the author when he says no matter what he sees or hears, he's never satisfied.
Another thing I've been frustrated with lately is prayer. Well, not lately...almost my entire life. I'm starting to think that I don't know how to pray at all. My prayers are in the form of thoughts. But, my mind constantly wanders, and before I know it, I'll end up day dreaming instead. I've been asking myself more and more what the reason for prayer is anyways...why do I bother?
I came across this quote in a church in Town...I guess it makes a better attempt at answering the question than I could...
'The world is aflame with evil and atrocity; the scandal of perpetual desecration of the world cries to high heaven. And we, coming face-to-face with it, are either involved as callous participants or, at best, remain indifferent onlookers....
We pray because the disproportion of human misery and human compassion is so enormous. We pray because our grasp of the depth of suffering is comparable to the scope of perception of a butterfly flying over the Grand Canyon. We pray because of the experience of the dreadful incompatibility of how we live and what we sense.'
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
I found that comforting...especially the part about our incompatibility. Maybe I'm not alone in this after all.
It looks as though I'm going to have to leave my thoughts on racial segregation and the wounds of South Africa to another blog...or perhaps I'm going to have to turn that one into a book....
I have six weeks left here. I am not looking forward to leaving this country, yet..I'm also a little tired of it too...
It would seem I'm not satisified no matter where I go!
Until next time...
Friday, December 10, 2010
My Winter Turned Summer
Hello!
Well. Here it is. My first blog in South Africa. I can guarantee that it will be written over a few days. I have very limited access to internet...and to be honest...I kind of like it that way!
Well. Here it is. My first blog in South Africa. I can guarantee that it will be written over a few days. I have very limited access to internet...and to be honest...I kind of like it that way!
So what have I been up to since I landed?
Let's start with the plane ride.
I got maybe two hours sleep in a period of 48 hours. Even with one gravol, one sleeping tablet, and a glass of wine (I was desperate) I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Nothing to report about the actual trip. We had an eight hour lay over in London. It was a little frustrating sitting in that airport and thinking that my beautiful friend, Saskia, was just a short two hour drive away. But there wasn't much I could do...
Oh. Another thing was we met up with the British Columbia CWY team...they were staying on the Sunshine Coast and are doing their exchange in Athalone, South Africa. So it was nice meeting new people...and talking to guys for a change. The plane food was good for once...minus our last breakfast which was plastic egg and something they called sausage. They had Inception under the movie selection. But it seemed a little too ambitious to watch that movie on such a small screen.
Let's start with the plane ride.
I got maybe two hours sleep in a period of 48 hours. Even with one gravol, one sleeping tablet, and a glass of wine (I was desperate) I could not fall asleep for the life of me. Nothing to report about the actual trip. We had an eight hour lay over in London. It was a little frustrating sitting in that airport and thinking that my beautiful friend, Saskia, was just a short two hour drive away. But there wasn't much I could do...
Oh. Another thing was we met up with the British Columbia CWY team...they were staying on the Sunshine Coast and are doing their exchange in Athalone, South Africa. So it was nice meeting new people...and talking to guys for a change. The plane food was good for once...minus our last breakfast which was plastic egg and something they called sausage. They had Inception under the movie selection. But it seemed a little too ambitious to watch that movie on such a small screen.
So... South Africa. We arrived to >30+ heat..completely exhausted...smelling not so pleasant...but really excited. I remember that first taxi ride to the facility where we were going to have our orientation camp. Now for those of you picturing a shiny, yellow little taxi that comfortably seats four, you are mistaken. In SA a taxi is a big van that fits from 15-22 people...not quite as comfortable. Leaving the airport and driving through the different communities, I felt such a sense of...rightness. Sorry I don't know what the appropriate word is. I just felt, at that moment, like this was were I was supposed to be. I can't remember the last time I felt that....such a wonderful feeling.
The first thing that struck me though was the stark contrasts between the different areas we went through. We passed by communities of informal settlements made up of hundreds of shacks crammed next to each other and then would go by beautiful suburbs with nicely spaced houses much nicer than most in Canada. It blows my mind the gap between rich and poor here...it's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to actually see it. I heard just this week too that South Africa has the largest gap between rich in poor in the world...not surprising. I think I'm going to have to dedicate a blog solely to this...watch for it...
We ended up going to this place called Strandfontein for our orientation camp. We had the camp with the other CWY group. The actual campsite was a dump. It was one large building with three rooms and a kitchen...ALL >28+ girls stayed in one room...while the 9 guys had the other. And the beds were shady bunk beds with mats about an inch thick. It was great. We were pretty close to the beach though so that was a bonus. Honestly, I do not know what the purpose of us meeting together was. It was poorly organized, we learnt nothing new, the other group was pretty annoying, and the fact that we were all jet lagged certainly didn't help.
The first thing that struck me though was the stark contrasts between the different areas we went through. We passed by communities of informal settlements made up of hundreds of shacks crammed next to each other and then would go by beautiful suburbs with nicely spaced houses much nicer than most in Canada. It blows my mind the gap between rich and poor here...it's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to actually see it. I heard just this week too that South Africa has the largest gap between rich in poor in the world...not surprising. I think I'm going to have to dedicate a blog solely to this...watch for it...
We ended up going to this place called Strandfontein for our orientation camp. We had the camp with the other CWY group. The actual campsite was a dump. It was one large building with three rooms and a kitchen...ALL >28+ girls stayed in one room...while the 9 guys had the other. And the beds were shady bunk beds with mats about an inch thick. It was great. We were pretty close to the beach though so that was a bonus. Honestly, I do not know what the purpose of us meeting together was. It was poorly organized, we learnt nothing new, the other group was pretty annoying, and the fact that we were all jet lagged certainly didn't help.
After the orientation camp, we headed for our respective host communities. The other CWY group went to Athalone, which is a 'coloured' community, while we made our way to Khayelitsha, a 'black' community. As we were driving from house to house dropping all the pairs off I was quite scared. I remember being nervous meeting my Canadian host family, but it was nothing compared to how nervous I was meeting my SA one. It didn't help that we were not only that last ones dropped off, but we were also placed in a separate section from everyone else. Let me explain. Khayelitsha is divided into sections. I think there are eight in total, but there may be more. I wish I could show you exactly what the sections look like. The streets are wide enough for one car. The houses are packed together...made of brick and are brightly coloured...and are about the size of two train containers put together. I will take pictures and post when I'm back?
My host family. I live with a host mother, Grace, who is in her mid sixties, and her nephew, my host brother, Luvuyo who is 22. It wasn't a great start. Apparently they didn't know we were arriving that day, so they weren't really prepared. And to top it off she, Grace, started off by telling me everything I am not allowed to do. And the way she speaks is quite different to anyone I'm used too...it was almost like she was yelling at me. I tried very hard not to cry (not in front of her anyways). I did once I got to the room. I was completely overwhelmed...that and completely culture shocked. But things have gotten better. I am getting used to the way she communicates, which I now realize isn't yelling. She has a very commanding presence, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She is sweet though. And when she laughs the whole community can hear her. But it's not easy. It's hard to read her, and I always feel like she's upset about something...even though she isn't. My host brother has been great though. He's very helpful with acting as translator, and has been introducing me to all his friends and taking us around with him. I really can't complain. It's different that's all.
Let me tell you about my new way of living though! For those of you who have shower heads and hot water..consider yourselves incredibly privileged. I have to boil my water in this bucket every morning...and I have to use another little bucket to wash my hair. It's quite the process. It took me so long to figure out exactly how to wash my hair..it was a nightmare at first. But I've gotten it down to less than 20 minutes! I'll get to ten soon...just you wait. OH! And I have to do my laundry by hand. Oh my word. It's exhausting. It took me over 2 hours to wash my clothes last week. You know what the problem was? The soap. I couldn't get the damn soap out of my clothes! After I was finished, my back was done for the rest of the week. But you know? I'm enjoying this. I will definitely not take for granted all the luxuries I have back home. That and I am realizing just how much stuff I had back home...all these shortcuts and with everything available at the tip of our fingers. We can be so wasteful...just because we have access to all those luxuries, doesn't mean we have to use them all up, does it? I'm definitely gaining some much needed perspective..and after only three weeks...can only imagine what else I'll learn in the coming months.
My host family. I live with a host mother, Grace, who is in her mid sixties, and her nephew, my host brother, Luvuyo who is 22. It wasn't a great start. Apparently they didn't know we were arriving that day, so they weren't really prepared. And to top it off she, Grace, started off by telling me everything I am not allowed to do. And the way she speaks is quite different to anyone I'm used too...it was almost like she was yelling at me. I tried very hard not to cry (not in front of her anyways). I did once I got to the room. I was completely overwhelmed...that and completely culture shocked. But things have gotten better. I am getting used to the way she communicates, which I now realize isn't yelling. She has a very commanding presence, and doesn't take crap from anyone. She is sweet though. And when she laughs the whole community can hear her. But it's not easy. It's hard to read her, and I always feel like she's upset about something...even though she isn't. My host brother has been great though. He's very helpful with acting as translator, and has been introducing me to all his friends and taking us around with him. I really can't complain. It's different that's all.
Let me tell you about my new way of living though! For those of you who have shower heads and hot water..consider yourselves incredibly privileged. I have to boil my water in this bucket every morning...and I have to use another little bucket to wash my hair. It's quite the process. It took me so long to figure out exactly how to wash my hair..it was a nightmare at first. But I've gotten it down to less than 20 minutes! I'll get to ten soon...just you wait. OH! And I have to do my laundry by hand. Oh my word. It's exhausting. It took me over 2 hours to wash my clothes last week. You know what the problem was? The soap. I couldn't get the damn soap out of my clothes! After I was finished, my back was done for the rest of the week. But you know? I'm enjoying this. I will definitely not take for granted all the luxuries I have back home. That and I am realizing just how much stuff I had back home...all these shortcuts and with everything available at the tip of our fingers. We can be so wasteful...just because we have access to all those luxuries, doesn't mean we have to use them all up, does it? I'm definitely gaining some much needed perspective..and after only three weeks...can only imagine what else I'll learn in the coming months.
As for things we've done so far. The first weekend that we were here, we went to the Khayelitsha health summit. It was pretty interesting...There were people from different health organizations and sectors as well as the public. The first day there were many boring presentations from the 'experts' on the health status of Khayelitsha... I understood some of it, but I'm not sure if the majority of the audience did...so I don't know what they were trying to accomplish really. The most interesting part of the summit was the Commissions. They had different topics that they asked the participants to break off into groups and discuss. I chose to be in the Maternity/Women and Children group. It was pretty crazy the stories I heard from the women about the crap that goes on in the health system. Pregnant women, in labour, being turned away from the hospital doors...pregnant teenagers getting reprimanded and mistreated by health staff for being sexually active...women afraid to go to clinics to get HIV tested because of the stigma and, again, staff mistreatment. And to think I had issues with the Canadian health system...
Other things we've been doing during the week have been:
1) Community orientations
2) March to increase awareness about domestic violence to kick of the 16 days of activism
3) Building solar stoves for this even called 350 (check below link):
http://www.350.org/en/about/blogs/south-africa-shines-hope
1) Community orientations
2) March to increase awareness about domestic violence to kick of the 16 days of activism
3) Building solar stoves for this even called 350 (check below link):
http://www.350.org/en/about/blogs/south-africa-shines-hope
*I was by the eight ray from the right...the yellow one...maybe you can see me??
4) Visit to neighbouring townships (Gugulethu, Clairemont, Mitchell's Plain)
5) Attended an 'Activating your Feminist Voice' conference
*Note: Very interesting conference put on by the Commission for Gender Equality. It was three days of dialogue discussing women's issues in SA and ways to overcome issues of inequality. Very enlightening...that and it was right on the beach.
6) March in the heart of Cape Town to mark the end of the '16 Days of Activism' Campaign
*Note: This is a worldwide event...look it up. At the end of the March we met in a church and had a number of speakers including the National and Provincial Minister for Social Development. The highlight for me was when they had six different religious leaders present to represent their respective faiths and pledge to fight against violence against women and children. It was quite something...seeing people of such different beliefs come together for a single cause...a beautiful moment.
7) March in Khayelistha to raise awareness on HIV/AIDS in South Africa
4) Visit to neighbouring townships (Gugulethu, Clairemont, Mitchell's Plain)
5) Attended an 'Activating your Feminist Voice' conference
*Note: Very interesting conference put on by the Commission for Gender Equality. It was three days of dialogue discussing women's issues in SA and ways to overcome issues of inequality. Very enlightening...that and it was right on the beach.
6) March in the heart of Cape Town to mark the end of the '16 Days of Activism' Campaign
*Note: This is a worldwide event...look it up. At the end of the March we met in a church and had a number of speakers including the National and Provincial Minister for Social Development. The highlight for me was when they had six different religious leaders present to represent their respective faiths and pledge to fight against violence against women and children. It was quite something...seeing people of such different beliefs come together for a single cause...a beautiful moment.
7) March in Khayelistha to raise awareness on HIV/AIDS in South Africa
As for work placements. We had several organizations come in to discuss working together...and the one I really want to work with is called Simelela (http://www.mosaic.org.za/srh_simelela.html). It's an NGO that works with victims of sexual violence and is in close partnership with the Khayelitsha health clinic...which makes me wonder....
Fingers crossed that the work placement actually goes through...I might have the opportunity to work with the on staff medical doctors. It would be quite the learning experience, I am sure...
One last thing I will touch on. My birthday weekend! I was really quite indifferent about the day and didn't have much motivation to plan anything special. But Saturday two very lovely girls from my group decided to take me along with them to a doctor's appointment...for moral support... It's quite ridiculous when I think back. I didn't ask any questions...I figured she needed support, so she would get it. We go to the place, and then they turn me around and tell me they had planned this for my birthday. It was lovely. We ate Indian food, I had a birthday gift delivered to me by a beautiful man, and then we shopped. I also went to my host brother's friend's place for a braai party...which is just a party where they barbeque lots of meat. The South Africans LOVE their meat. And on Sunday (yesterday) we went to this place called Mzoli's in Gugulethu. The place is infamous...both in a good and bad way. It was fun. We had braai, met lots of people, and danced and danced and danced. I like the place because there is such a wide range of people from all over...whites, coloured, blacks, yellow, orange, pink...you name it.
Fingers crossed that the work placement actually goes through...I might have the opportunity to work with the on staff medical doctors. It would be quite the learning experience, I am sure...
One last thing I will touch on. My birthday weekend! I was really quite indifferent about the day and didn't have much motivation to plan anything special. But Saturday two very lovely girls from my group decided to take me along with them to a doctor's appointment...for moral support... It's quite ridiculous when I think back. I didn't ask any questions...I figured she needed support, so she would get it. We go to the place, and then they turn me around and tell me they had planned this for my birthday. It was lovely. We ate Indian food, I had a birthday gift delivered to me by a beautiful man, and then we shopped. I also went to my host brother's friend's place for a braai party...which is just a party where they barbeque lots of meat. The South Africans LOVE their meat. And on Sunday (yesterday) we went to this place called Mzoli's in Gugulethu. The place is infamous...both in a good and bad way. It was fun. We had braai, met lots of people, and danced and danced and danced. I like the place because there is such a wide range of people from all over...whites, coloured, blacks, yellow, orange, pink...you name it.
I think that's enough for the first update. Not really sure what else to add. But, music?
That's probably been one of the most challenging things for me so far. The music here is horrible. It's house...and every single song sounds the same. It was nice at first, and it is great to dance to...but when they blast it out of the pubs, houses, and taxis 24/7 it is quite irritating. My apologies, but I will not post South African music...
That's probably been one of the most challenging things for me so far. The music here is horrible. It's house...and every single song sounds the same. It was nice at first, and it is great to dance to...but when they blast it out of the pubs, houses, and taxis 24/7 it is quite irritating. My apologies, but I will not post South African music...
Here is an Australian band...a brother/sister duo called Angus and Julia Stone. They make beautiful music. Both the brother and sister sing, but I prefer it when Angus takes the lead. This song is one of the more uplifting on my ipod...called 'Just a Boy'. In my opinion it's a love song. More a love song then most claim to be anyways. Whoever he wrote this song for is one lucky girl. Enjoy!
Monday, November 15, 2010
End of an Era
So. Here it is...the last of my blog entries for the Canadian phase of this exchange.
I've been strangely calm today. Not sure how I managed that. I still have some packing to do, a room to clean, a letter to send, a prescription to fill, and a VISA pin number to change. But I have till noon tomorrow...and I have faith that it will get done in time. I leave for South Africa tomorrow. I have been waiting for this moment since May...but though the time has come I can't quite believe it's happening...
I've been strangely calm today. Not sure how I managed that. I still have some packing to do, a room to clean, a letter to send, a prescription to fill, and a VISA pin number to change. But I have till noon tomorrow...and I have faith that it will get done in time. I leave for South Africa tomorrow. I have been waiting for this moment since May...but though the time has come I can't quite believe it's happening...
We are going to be in transit, the whole lot of us, for 35+ hours. I love traveling. But I am not looking forward to this particular trip...especially the plane ride. 18 women on two separate flights, one long stop over, and two bus rides....it will be a miracle if we all make it in one piece.
The schedule is as follows (in Alberta time):
1. 1:00 pm- Leave Camrose
2. 4:30 pm- Arrive at Calgary Interational
3. 8:45 pm- Fly to London Heathrow
4. 5:00 am- Arrive in London
5. 1:00 pm (ish)- Fly to Cape Town Interational
6. 12:30 am- Arrive in Cape Town
7. 2:00 am- Arrive in Orientation Camp
The schedule is as follows (in Alberta time):
1. 1:00 pm- Leave Camrose
2. 4:30 pm- Arrive at Calgary Interational
3. 8:45 pm- Fly to London Heathrow
4. 5:00 am- Arrive in London
5. 1:00 pm (ish)- Fly to Cape Town Interational
6. 12:30 am- Arrive in Cape Town
7. 2:00 am- Arrive in Orientation Camp
Cape Town is ten hours ahead of Vancouver....so we should be arriving in South Africa around 1 pm local time. But there you have it....1.5 days in transit....
Similar to when I was getting ready to leave for Camrose, I am feeling a mixture of emotions. I thought that any feelings of sadness for leaving this place would be completely overshadowed by my excitement and joy for the change. That's not really the case right now.
During the 2.5 months that I have been here, I have had many difficult and emotionally exhausting experiences. But during those times, I have failed to really focus any of my energy on the positives. I hate when people say you never quite realize what you have until it's gone...it certainly applies here though. My heart is really quite heavy right now. I've become quite attached to some people...especially in the last couple of weeks. I don't know how it is that in such a small town I was able to meet some of the most inspiring people I have ever known in my life. I didn't focus enough of my energy or thoughts on them because I was so wrapped up in myself...and I will probably always regret that. But, I should also be thankful that in the end, I was able to realize and appreciate their worth.
I wish I could share with you exactly who these people are, and what they have given me but words will never do their characters justice. All I know is that even though I have questioned again and again the reasons for my being here, having been given this opportunity to know them is reason enough. For a period of time, I was wondering if I was gaining anything at all...but I am starting to see that I have learnt more in these past few weeks than I have in a very long time.
During the 2.5 months that I have been here, I have had many difficult and emotionally exhausting experiences. But during those times, I have failed to really focus any of my energy on the positives. I hate when people say you never quite realize what you have until it's gone...it certainly applies here though. My heart is really quite heavy right now. I've become quite attached to some people...especially in the last couple of weeks. I don't know how it is that in such a small town I was able to meet some of the most inspiring people I have ever known in my life. I didn't focus enough of my energy or thoughts on them because I was so wrapped up in myself...and I will probably always regret that. But, I should also be thankful that in the end, I was able to realize and appreciate their worth.
I wish I could share with you exactly who these people are, and what they have given me but words will never do their characters justice. All I know is that even though I have questioned again and again the reasons for my being here, having been given this opportunity to know them is reason enough. For a period of time, I was wondering if I was gaining anything at all...but I am starting to see that I have learnt more in these past few weeks than I have in a very long time.
I can speak a bit about my host parents. I said it before, and I will say it again...I am not looking forward to leaving them. They have been absolutely wonderful to me. From the start I was welcomed into their home as family, and have truly been made to feel as such. Besides my own parents, I haven't come close to regarding anyone else in the same light...until I got to know my hosts that is.
They were so kind as to also invite my parents and brother to come and stay at the house when they visited. Though they enjoy meeting new people, I know they did it mainly for me. I have already decided to come back next year, early summer to visit them. The fact that I will be seeing them again in the near future makes me feel a bit better about leaving now...
They were so kind as to also invite my parents and brother to come and stay at the house when they visited. Though they enjoy meeting new people, I know they did it mainly for me. I have already decided to come back next year, early summer to visit them. The fact that I will be seeing them again in the near future makes me feel a bit better about leaving now...
I guess this leads to the highlight for the week. As mentioned, my parents visited. It was exactly what I needed, seeing them...but it was also even more difficult saying goodbye for the second time. The family absolutely loved Dave and Melanie and though it was such a short visit, we all got a lot out of it.
Well I should probably draw this to a close. There's much more to say but I have no time...
Here is a song though. It's by Ane Brun. My favorite female artist...and quite possibly favorite artist ever.
I absolutely love this song. Heard it over two years ago, and have yet to grow tired of it.
Enjoy!
I guess the next time you hear from me (if you do!) it will be from the beautiful continent of Africa.
Until next time....
Monday, November 8, 2010
Profound Thoughts on Tea
This isn't an update and doesn't really have anything to do to with anything...but I felt like writing anyways.
I'm in the middle of reading this book, 'The Elegance of the Hedgehog'. It was first recommended to me by someone who's suggestions have never failed to astound over the past five years. It was largely because of him that I rediscovered the magic that is the written word. It took me two years to actually get to this book though...and for many reasons (mainly relating to the insanity that is this program) I have had to restart this book four times.....
I came across a particular section today that absolutely blew me away...I was left with no choice, but to share it. An entire page was devoted to the act of tea drinking, but here is my favorite part:
'When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?
The tea ritual: such a precise repetition of the same gestures and the same tastes; accession to simple, authentic and refined sensations, a license given to all, at little cost, to become aristocrats of taste, because tea is the beverage of the wealth and of the poor; the tea ritual, therefore, has the extraordinary virtue of introducing into the absurdity of our lives an aperture of serene harmony. Yes, the world may aspire to vacuousness, lost souls mourn beauty, insignificance surrounds us. then let us drink a cup of tea. Silence descends, one hears the wind outside, autumn leaves rustle and take flight, the cat sleeps in a warm pool of light. And, with each swallow, time is sublimed.'
Any living being who could describe the act of tea drinking as something not unlike a profound spiritual experience is an absolute genius...
For those who know me well, tea , specifically Ceylon Orange Pekoe, is for me, much what breath is for the body. I cannot go through the day without my tea fix. Lately I've been drinking at least four cups in a day...and often I will not be able to sleep without my last cup. I've never given much thought to it before. But reading this, the author could not have expressed this addiction of mine any more articulately. Especially the bit about the world aspiring to vacuousness, lost souls mourning beauty, and being surrounded by insignificance.....that's a pretty good summary of how I've been feeling lately...but before I am able to sit and think about it...I go to my cup of tea. And when that mug is in my hand, and I have taken that first sip...I am one step closer to being at peace with the world.
This isn't a regular blog entry, but it still deserves a song I say.
In keeping with the theme of serenity, here's some music that achieves much the same result, but through another means.
Sigur Rós needs no introduction.
This particular song is called: Með Suð Í Eyrum (translated: With a Humming in Our Ears)
Goodnight.
I'm in the middle of reading this book, 'The Elegance of the Hedgehog'. It was first recommended to me by someone who's suggestions have never failed to astound over the past five years. It was largely because of him that I rediscovered the magic that is the written word. It took me two years to actually get to this book though...and for many reasons (mainly relating to the insanity that is this program) I have had to restart this book four times.....
I came across a particular section today that absolutely blew me away...I was left with no choice, but to share it. An entire page was devoted to the act of tea drinking, but here is my favorite part:
'When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?
The tea ritual: such a precise repetition of the same gestures and the same tastes; accession to simple, authentic and refined sensations, a license given to all, at little cost, to become aristocrats of taste, because tea is the beverage of the wealth and of the poor; the tea ritual, therefore, has the extraordinary virtue of introducing into the absurdity of our lives an aperture of serene harmony. Yes, the world may aspire to vacuousness, lost souls mourn beauty, insignificance surrounds us. then let us drink a cup of tea. Silence descends, one hears the wind outside, autumn leaves rustle and take flight, the cat sleeps in a warm pool of light. And, with each swallow, time is sublimed.'
Any living being who could describe the act of tea drinking as something not unlike a profound spiritual experience is an absolute genius...
For those who know me well, tea , specifically Ceylon Orange Pekoe, is for me, much what breath is for the body. I cannot go through the day without my tea fix. Lately I've been drinking at least four cups in a day...and often I will not be able to sleep without my last cup. I've never given much thought to it before. But reading this, the author could not have expressed this addiction of mine any more articulately. Especially the bit about the world aspiring to vacuousness, lost souls mourning beauty, and being surrounded by insignificance.....that's a pretty good summary of how I've been feeling lately...but before I am able to sit and think about it...I go to my cup of tea. And when that mug is in my hand, and I have taken that first sip...I am one step closer to being at peace with the world.
This isn't a regular blog entry, but it still deserves a song I say.
In keeping with the theme of serenity, here's some music that achieves much the same result, but through another means.
Sigur Rós needs no introduction.
This particular song is called: Með Suð Í Eyrum (translated: With a Humming in Our Ears)
Goodnight.
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